Quotes That Rock L’s World

[This is an on-going list/project including a lot of famous movie/tv quotes.]

“Buttercup: You can die too for all I care.
[she pushes him down a high hill]
Man in Black: AS… YOU… WISH.
Buttercup: Oh my sweet Westley what have I done? ”
-from the movie The Princess Bride

“hey, good news! It’s Champagne Thursday!
But it’s Friday.
Champagne Thursday came twice this week!
For the third straight week…?
There’s talk of making it permanent.
Kinda like daylight savings time?
Yes, but for booze!”
-Paula & (Zooey de Chanel) in Failure To Launch

“It’s better to be crazy than boring.”
-Diane O’Debra @dianeodebra on Keith and the Girl @keithandthegirl

There’s a difference between a reason and an excuse.”
-Cathy B

“Poor planning on your part does not necessarily constitute an emergency on my part.”
-Author Unknown, [If you have an attribution for this please let me know.

“I have authority issues, and I don’t take bullshit well.”
-Abby, from the movie Elektra

“I love that you get cold when it’s 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you’re looking at me like I’m nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s New Year’s Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”
-Harry Burns, from the movie When Harry Met Sally

Grandpa: [voiceover] Nothing gave Buttercup as much pleasure as ordering Westley around.
Buttercup: Farm boy, polish my horse’s saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning.
Westley: As you wish.
Grandpa: [voiceover] “As you wish” was all he ever said to her.
Buttercup: Farm boy, fill these with water – please.
Westley: As you wish.
Grandpa: [voiceover] That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying “As you wish”, what he meant was, “I love you.” And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back.
Buttercup: Farm boy… fetch me that pitcher.
[It’s right over her head, so he has to stand next to her]
Westley: As you wish.
-from the movie The Princess Bride

“You know all the words, but you can’t hear the music.”
-Dexter Morgan, from the Showtime series, Dexter

“What the hell does that have to do with anything? That will prove I’m over Joe? Because I fuck somebody? Harry, you’re gonna have to move back to New Jersey because you’ve slept with everybody in New York and I don’t see that turning Helen into a faint memory for you. Besides, I will make love to somebody when it is making love. Not the way you do it like you’re out for revenge or something.”
-Sally Albright, from the movie When Harry Met Sally

“Armand: You do an eclectic celebration of the dance! You do Fosse, Fosse, Fosse! You do Martha Graham, Martha Graham, Martha Graham! Or Twyla, Twyla, Twyla! Or Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd! Or Madonna, Madonna, Madonna!… but you keep it all inside.”
-The Birdcage

“Harry Burns: Right now everything is great, everyone is happy, everyone is in love and that is wonderful. But you gotta know that sooner or later you’re gonna be screaming at each other about who’s gonna get this dish. This eight dollar dish will cost you a thousand dollars in phone calls to the legal firm of That’s Mine, This Is Yours.
Marie: Harry.
Harry Burns: Please, Jess, Marie. Do me a favor, for your own good, put your name in your books right now before they get mixed up and you won’t know whose is whose. ‘Cause someday, believe it or not, you’ll go 15 rounds over who’s gonna get this coffee table. This stupid, wagon wheel, Roy Rogers, garage sale COFFEE TABLE.
Jess: I thought you liked it?
Harry Burns: I was being nice.”
When Harry Met Sally

“Albert: He blew a BUBBLE with his GUM while I was singing. He can’t do that while I’m SINGING!

Celsius: Chewing gum helps me think.
Albert: Sweetie, you’re wasting your gum!”
-The Birdcage

“Thin. Pretty. Big tits. Your basic nightmare.”
-Marie, from the movie When Harry Met Sally

“Inigo Montoya: That Vizzini, he can *fuss*.
Fezzik: Fuss, fuss… I think he like to scream at *us*.
Inigo Montoya: Probably he means no *harm*.
Fezzik: He’s really very short on *charm*.
Inigo Montoya: You have a great gift for rhyme.
Fezzik: Yes, yes, some of the time.
Vizzini: Enough of that.
Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?
Fezzik: If there are, we all be dead.
Vizzini: No more rhyming now, I mean it.
Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut?
-from the movie The Princess Bride

Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I’m saying is – and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form – is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That’s not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don’t.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don’t.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I’m having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I’m saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you’re saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail ’em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don’t want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn’t matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we’re not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That’s too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.
When Harry Met Sally

“Dr. Simon Tam: [deciding to leave the ship] River, do you want to stay with them?
River Tam: It isn’t safe.
Dr. Simon Tam: No. I fear it isn’t safe any more.
[walks away]
River Tam: [quietly] For them.”

“You can’t ruin a friendship with sex. That’s like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.”
-Rashsi Kuthrapali from The Big Bang Theory

“Zoë: In the time of war, we would never have left a man behind.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Maybe that’s why we lost.”

“Harry Burns: There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.
Sally Albright: Which one am I?
Harry Burns: You’re the worst kind; you’re high maintenance but you think you’re low maintenance.
Sally Albright: I don’t see that.
Harry Burns: You don’t see that? Waiter, I’ll begin with a house salad, but I don’t want the regular dressing. I’ll have the balsamic vinegar and oil, but on the side. And then the salmon with the mustard sauce, but I want the mustard sauce on the side. “On the side” is a very big thing for you.
Sally Albright: Well, I just want it the way I want it.
Harry Burns: I know; high maintenance.”
When Harry Met Sally

“He’s right on top of us. I wonder if he is using the same wind we are using. ”
-Inigo Montoya, from the movie The Princess Bride

Oh, really? When I buy a new book, I read the last page first. That way, in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends. That, my friend, is a dark side.”
-Harry from the movie When Harry Met Sally

“Kaylee Frye: [to Simon who wasn’t on the mission that the captain and others just got back from] Are you ok?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Is *he* OK?”

“[Vizzini has just cut the rope The Dread Pirate Roberts is climbing up]
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
-from the movie The Princess Bride

“You made a woman meow?”
-Jess from the movie When Harry Met Sally

“Man in Black: All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right… and who is dead.
Vizzini: But it’s so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy’s? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man in Black: You’ve made your decision then?
Vizzini: Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
Man in Black: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
Vizzini: Wait til I get going! Now, where was I?
Man in Black: Australia.
Vizzini: Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder’s origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man in Black: You’re just stalling now.
Vizzini: You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you? You’ve beaten my giant, which means you’re exceptionally strong, so you could’ve put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you’ve also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man in Black: You’re trying to trick me into giving away something. It won’t work.
Man in Black: Then make your choice.
Vizzini: I will, and I choose – What in the world can that be?
Vizzini: [Vizzini gestures up and away from the table. Roberts looks. Vizzini swaps the goblets]
Man in Black: What? Where? I don’t see anything.
Vizzini: Well, I- I could have sworn I saw something. No matter.First, let’s drink. Me from my glass, and you from yours.
Man in Black, Vizzini: [Vizzini and the Man in Black drink ]
Man in Black: You guessed wrong.
Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong! That’s what’s so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders – The most famous of which is “never get involved in a land war in Asia” – but only slightly less well-known is this: “Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line”! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha…
Vizzini: [Vizzini stops suddenly,his smile frozen on his face and falls to the right out of camera dead]
Buttercup: And to think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned.
Man in Black: They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder. ”
-from the movie The Princess Bride

“Young River: People don’t like to be meddled with. We tell them what to do, what to think, don’t run, don’t walk. We’re in their homes and in their heads and we haven’t the right. We’re meddlesome.”

There comes a time in your life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and the people who create it and surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good. After all life is too short to be anything but happy.
-credit is often given to German composer Karl Marx

“Inigo Montoya: Are you the Miracle Max who worked for the king all those years?
Miracle Max: The King’s stinking son fired me, and thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you’re at it, why don’t you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? We’re closed. ”
-from the movie The Princess Bride

“Zoë: Do you really think any of us is gonna get through this?
[looks at the other crew members struggling with their guns]
Jayne Cobb: Well, I might.”

Just after a kiss between Elektra and Mark.
Mark: “I’m sorry.”
Elektra: “Yeah, I hated that.”
-from the movie Elektra

Miracle Max: Get back, witch.
Valerie: I’m not a witch, I’m your wife. But after what you just said, I’m not even sure I want to be that any more.
-from the movie The Princess Bride

I “uh” you, too.
-Emma, from the movie Alex & Emma

“There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.”
-Westley, from the movie The Princess Bride

“The Grandson: Grandpa, maybe you could come over and read it again to me tomorrow.
Grandpa: As you wish.”
-from the movie The Princess Bride

“Westley: Can you move at all?
Buttercup: Move? You’re alive. If you want I can fly.”
-from the movie The Princess Bride

“The Impressive Clergyman: Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam…
The Impressive Clergyman: And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva…
The Impressive Clergyman: So tweasure your wuv.
Prince Humperdinck: Skip to the end.
The Impressive Clergyman: Have you the wing?
The Impressive Clergyman: …and do you,Pwincess Buwwercup…
Prince Humperdinck: Man and wife. Say man and wife.
The Impressive Clergyman: Man an’ wife.”
-from the movie The Princess Bride

And to die is different from what anyone supposed, and luckier.”
-Walt Whitman, from Song of Myself, quoted in the movie Dead Again

“Since the invention of the kiss there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. The End. ”
-Grandpa from the movie The Princess Bride

“Abby: So you really kill people for a living?
Elektra: Yeah.
Abby: Why?
Elektra: It’s what I’m good at.
Abby: That’s messed up.
Elektra: Yeah.”
-from the movie Elektra

“Armand: A woman is said to be worth her weight in hens. And a man’s wealth is measured by the size of his cock.”
-The Birdcage

“Inigo Montoya: That’s a miracle pill?
Valerie: The chocolate coating makes it go down easier. But you have to wait fifteen minutes for full potency. And you shouldn’t go in swimming after, for at least…”
-from the movie The Princess Bride

“Agador: Senator, another shot for you?
Senator Kevin Keeley: I don’t really drink…
Agador: Yeah, but now’s the time to pretend!”
-The Birdcage

“The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.”
-Jim Rohn
(yeah, I like this quote but didn’t link to him ’cause his website is spammy)

“Senator Kevin Keeley: [in drag] No one will dance with me. I think it’s this dress. I told them white would make me look fat.
Barbara Keeley: [in female drag] What about me? I’m just as pretty as the rest of these guys!
Senator Kevin Keeley: [in drag] Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me here. I don’t want to be the only girl not dancing!
Senator Kevin Keeley: [in drag] Meet me in 20 minutes at the corner of El Dorado and Palm.
Keeley’s Chauffeur: Lady, not for a million dollars.”
-The Birdcage

“Have fun storming the castle!”
-Miracle Max from the movie The Princess Bride

“Armand: Agador!
Val: Spartacus!
Armand: Agador Spartacus!… He insists on being called by his full name. ”
-The Birdcage

“Brooke: Is he always such an ass?
Emmett: He’s the top defense attorney in the state. Of course he’s an ass.
Brooke: But is he an ass that’s gonna win my case?
Emmett: He’s an ass that’s gonna try.”
-from the movie Legally Blonde

“Armand: What is that crap you served us?
Agador: It’s Guatemalan Peasant Soup.
Armand: What’s Guatemalan Peasant Soup?
Agador: I don’t know, I made it up. I made it up!”
-The Birdcage

“Inigo Montoya: Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
[Inigo advances on Rugen, but stumbles into the table with sudden pain. Rugen attacks, but Inigo parries and rises to his feet again]
Inigo Montoya: Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
[Rugen attacks again, Inigo parries more fiercely, gaining strength]
Inigo Montoya: Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya! You killed my father! Prepare to die!
Count Rugen: Stop saying that!
[Rugen attacks, twice. Inigo avoids and wounds Rugen in both shoulders, the same spots where he wounded Inigo. Inigo attacks, bellowing:]
[Inigo corners Count Rugen, knocks his sword aside, and slashes his cheek, giving him a scar just like Inigo’s]
Inigo Montoya: Offer me money.
Count Rugen: Yes!
Inigo Montoya: Power, too, promise me that.
[He slashes his other cheek]
Count Rugen: All that I have and more. Please…
Inigo Montoya: Offer me anything I ask for.
Count Rugen: Anything you want…
[Rugen knocks Inigo’s sword aside and lunges. But Inigo traps his arm and aims his sword at Rugen’s stomach]
Inigo Montoya: I want my father back, you son of a bitch!
[He runs Count Rugen through and shoves him back against the table. Rugen falls to the floor, dead] ”
-from the movie The Princess Bride

“Armand: My cemetery’s in Key Biscayne. It’s one of the prettiest in the world. The sky is blue, palm trees, rolling hills. The one is Los Copa’s really shit.
Armand: What a pain in the ass you are. And it’s true: you’re not young, you’re not new, and you do make people laugh. And me? I’m still with you because you make me laugh. So you know what I got to do? I got to sell my plot in Key Biscayne so I can get one next to you in that shithole Los Copa, so I never miss a laugh. ”
-The Birdcage

“Give me a word, any word, and I show you that the root of that word is Greek.”
-Gus Portokalos from the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding

“Armand: You look like Lucy’s stunt double.
Agador: [dancing around in red wig cleaning] No actually I’m a combination of Lucy and Ricky
Armand: That’s horrifying.

Agador: [in a scene after one in which he was dressed like Lucy] Armand, why don’t you let me be in the show?
Armand: Your what?
Agador: My Guatemalan-ness, my natural heat. You’re afraid I’m too primitive to be on the stage with your little estrogen rockettes, right?
Armand: You’re right. I’m afraid of your heat.”
-The Birdcage

“Buttercup: Westley. Oh, Westley darling!
[Buttercup kisses Westley passionately]
Buttercup: Westley, why won’t you hold me?
Westley: Gently.
Buttercup: At a time like this, that’s all you can think to say. Gently?
[Buttercup continues kissing Westley and lifts up his head]
Westley: Gently!
[Westely’s head falls and he winces]
Westley: Ughhhh!”
-from the movie The Princess Bride

“Love each day.”
-Paul (referenced past tense after his death) from the movie Descent

“Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: But it ain’t all buttons and charts, little albatross. You know what the first rule of flying is? Well, I suppose you do, since you already know what I’m about to say.
River Tam: I do. But I like to hear you say it.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Love. You can learn all the math in the ‘Verse, but you take a boat in the air that you don’t love, she’ll shake you off just as sure as the turning of the worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down, tells you she’s hurtin’ ‘fore she keens. Makes her a home.
River Tam: Storm’s getting worse.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: We’ll pass through it soon enough.”

“The truth is, it hurts. When a person makes fun of you, when a person is cruel to you, it has nothing to do with you. It’s not about what you said. It’s not about what you did. It’s not about what you love. It’s about them feeling bad about themselves.”
-Wil Wheaton @wilw

“Albert: Oh yes… Coldeman. The “d” is silent in America. It’s Cole D’Isle au Man, or Cole of the Isle of Man, in France, where Armand’s chateau is, Cold-e-man in Greece where Armand’s work is, and finally the vulgar Coleman in Florida where Armand’s home is, so actually, we don’t know where we are until we hear our last name pronounced! Ahahahahahahaaaaa!”
-The Birdcage

“[Mal suspects Inara is being forced to lure them into a trap]
Kaylee Frye: But how can you be sure Inara don’t just want to see you? Sometimes people have feelings. I’m referring here to people.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Y’all were watching I take it?
Kaylee Frye: Yes?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Did you see us fight?
Kaylee Frye: No.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Trap.”

“Prince Humperdinck: First things first, to the death.
Westley: No. To the pain.
Prince Humperdinck: I don’t think I’m quite familiar with that phrase.
Westley: I’ll explain and I’ll use small words so that you’ll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.
Prince Humperdinck: That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.
Westley: It won’t be the last. To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.
Prince Humperdinck: And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don’t mean to duplicate tonight.
Westley: I wasn’t finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.
Prince Humperdinck: And then my ears, I understand let’s get on with it.
Westley: WRONG. Your ears you keep and I’ll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, “Dear God! What is that thing,” will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.
Prince Humperdinck: I think you’re bluffing.
Westley: It’s possible, Pig, I might be bluffing. It’s conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I’m only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again… perhaps I have the strength after all.
[slowly rises and points sword directly at the prince]
Prince Humperdinck: [Humperdinck’s mouth hangs open, drops sword to floor]”
-from the movie The Princess Bride

“Kaylee Frye: Goin’ on a year now I ain’t had nothin’ twixt my nethers weren’t run on batteries!
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Oh, God! I can’t *know* that!
Jayne Cobb: I could stand to hear a little more.”

“Val: Who put Playboy in the bathroom?
Goldman Girl: Leave it, it’s what they read.
Val: Don’t add! Just subtract!”
-The Birdcage

Can you go away? Can you just go away? Can you go away?”
-Kate from the movie Kate & Leopold

“Dr. Simon Tam: In all that time on the ship… I’ve always regretted… not being with you.
Kaylee Frye: With me? You mean to say… as in sex?
Dr. Simon Tam: I mean to say.
Kaylee Frye: To Hell with this. I’m gonna live!”

“Louise Keeley: If necessary, we’ll get the Pope’s blessing, it’s not hard!”
-The Birdcage

“I’m very good at sharing. Unfortunately, that’s not very marketable.”
Rose Lorkowski in the movie Sunshine Cleaning

“Senator Kevin Keeley: Louise, I’m the Vice President of the Coalition for Moral Order! My co-founder has just died in the bed of an underage black whore!”
-The Birdcage

“You think that’s the last thing your dad remembers? The pain? Or drinking champagne with his daughter fourteen thousand feet in the air?”
-Charles Bishop Weyland in the movie Alien vs. Predator

“Senator Kevin Keeley: Oh, I got to fire this woman. Uh, Miss Porter, page two, second paragraph, it’s “porno”, not “pronto”.
-The Birdcage

“If my therapy ever starts working, I’m out of a job.”
-Joss Whedon, Executive Producer (Creator) of Firefly and Serenity

“Louise Keeley: Who is this boy, Barbie? When was the last time you saw him?
Barbara Keeley: Please don’t call me Barbie. This afternoon at two o’clock. We’ve been sleeping together for a year.
Senator Kevin Keeley: Oh God, has he been tested?
Louise Keeley: Oh, Kevin!
Barbara Keeley: Yes, and so have I.
[Louise screams]”
-The Birdcage

“So you’re upset because a man you don’t like didn’t invite you to play a game you’re expected to lose?”
-Detective Gloria Sheppard, The Protector, played by Ally Walker

“Armand: What are you giving him drugs for? What the hell are Pirin tablets?
Agador: It’s aspirin with the “A” and the “S” scraped off.
Armand: My God, what a brilliant idea!
Agador: I know.”
-The Birdcage

[noisy kid from adjoining hotel room] Who are you?
[one of the guys] This is our room.
[noisy kid] What are you doing?
[noisy kid] Raping small children.
kid leaves
[one of the guys] hey kid…open the door
[noisy kid] fuck you
moments later, kid is counting $100 to let them out through his room.
-from the movie, Go

“Armand: It’s like riding a psychotic horse toward a burning stable.”
-The Birdcage

[In southern California at a beach. People coming out of the water fully dressed carrying trash bags of their belongings.
Beach cops begin chasing them on ATVs. ]
Andy Botwin: “Is this really happening?”
Doug Wilson: “This is like a movie. I wish we had Milk Duds!”
-from the Showtime show Weeds

“Computer Voice: [moves its chess piece] Checkmate. Checkmate.
[MacReady pours his drink into the computer tower, frying it]
MacReady: Cheating bitch.”
-from The Thing (1982)

[last lines]
“Rabbi: Mazeltov!
Pastor: As a sign of your union, you may kiss the bride.
Albert: [loudly weeps hysterically]”
-The Birdcage

“My rank will be Captain. If it’s good enough for Kirk, Crunch, and Kangaroo, It’s good enough for me.”
-Dr. Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory

“I dunno what the hell’s in there, but it’s weird and pissed off, whatever it is.”
-Clark from The Thing (1982)

{Emil’s favorite quote in the whole movie.}
[Norris’ head grows legs and tries to walk away]
“Palmer: You gotta be fucking kidding.”
-from the movie The Thing (1982)
{It is interesting that they used “gotta” instead of “got to” but not “fuckin'” or “kiddin'” instead of “fucking” or “kidding”.}

“Harry Burns: There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.
Sally Albright: Which one am I?
Harry Burns: You’re the worst kind; you’re high maintenance but you think you’re low maintenance.
Sally Albright: I don’t see that.
Harry Burns: You don’t see that? Waiter, I’ll begin with a house salad, but I don’t want the regular dressing. I’ll have the balsamic vinegar and oil, but on the side. And then the salmon with the mustard sauce, but I want the mustard sauce on the side. “On the side” is a very big thing for you.
Sally Albright: Well, I just want it the way I want it.
Harry Burns: I know; high maintenance.”
-When Harry Met Sally

“We’re not getting out of here alive, but neither is that thing.”
-R.J. MacReady from the movie The Thing (1982)

“Joon: He can really cook, can’t he?
Benny: Uh, yeah. Although for grilled cheese, I mighta used a wool setting.
Joon: That’s what I told him.
Benny: Really? What-what did he use?
Joon: Rayon.
Benny: Mm.
Joon: Silk would have been too soggy. Cotton would have…
Benny: Would have burned it.
Joon: Right. Fortunately, he consulted me before giving it steam. I was four square against it.”
-Benny & Joon

“I hate that kind of remark. It sounds like a compliment but….”
-When Harry Met Sally

“The thing that I hope for most–I’m embarrased to admit– is emotional dependence. It’s probably why my friends think I’m crazy. I mean, who would actually wish for that kind of weakness?  But, I…I do. I want to meet, fall in love with, and be with somebody I can’t bear to live without….I pray that oneday I’ll know some of that madness. He loved her more than life.”
-Ally McBeal (as played by Calista Flockhart in the title role) Episode 30 “S2:E18 – Those Lips, That Hand” (1998) featuring Tony Shaloub

“I could have danced all night and still have begged for more.”
singing a song from My Fair Lady in The Birdcage

“Sally Albright: I am not your consolation prize, Harry.”
-When Harry Met Sally

“It’s every woman’s right to have children.”
“But, I find, once they do, their priorities change…and not for the benefit of the firm.”
“But, Mr. Biblico, certainly you can appreciate the demands of motherhood?”
“Yes. As I can appreciate the demands of writing a novel, or…combating a terminal disease, or…building a house from scratch. There [are] lots of things my employees could be doing at home, but I only care about their performance at work.”
“And you find that once a woman becomes a mother…”
“They put in shorter hours, less productive hours, and, they become less reliable….their priorities shift.”
-[Client] Biblico and Nelle Porter, Ally McBeal Episode 31 “S2:E19 – Let’s Dance” (1998)

“Was it the mature thing that [she] did? Of course not, but we don’t attach maturity to the definition of love. It’s irrational. It’s passionate, and grown-ups are often reduced to children….It has nothing to do with behavior typically reserved for adults.”
-John Cage, played by Peter MacNicol, from Ally McBeal

“Love is in the air, Quite clearly. People everywhere Act queerly. Wives are at their husbands’ service, Virgins are distinctly nervous. Love is going around.”
-The Stephen Sondheim song was originally meant for A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, but was cut from the show. It appears again in The Birdcage

“Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: What in the hell happened back there?
Hoban ‘Wash’ Washburn: Start with the part where Jayne gets knocked out by a 90-pound girl ’cause… I don’t think that’s ever getting old.”

“Harry Burns: And was it worth it? The sacrifice for a friend you don’t even keep in touch with?
Sally Albright: Harry, you might not believe this, but I never considered not sleeping with you a sacrifice.”
-When Harry Met Sally

“What is wrong with us? Why couldn’t we leave it alone?
I don’t know. You know, maybe one of the things we like about each others what great friends we are to our friends.
Oh, I like that better than my answer.
What’s that?
That the vacuum created by their clashing wills sucked all of the air out of our brains?”
-AnnaBeth & Lavon from Hart of Dixie

“Armand: There’s only one place in the world I call home and it’s because you’re there.”
-The Birdcage

“Hoban ‘Wash’ Washburn: This landing is gonna get pretty interesting.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Define “interesting”.
Hoban ‘Wash’ Washburn: [deadpan] Oh God, oh God, we’re all going to die?”

“Why don’t you just let me know when you decide what you’re least bad at?”
-Det. Vince Korsak from Rizzoli & Isles

“Sam: How sick is she?
Benny: She’s plenty sick. Now listen to me, I’ve been doin’ some thinkin’…
Sam: Because, you know, it seems to me that, I mean, except for being a little mentally ill, she’s pretty normal.”
– Sam, about Joon from Benny & Joon

“Hoban ‘Wash’ Washburn: I am a leaf on the wind – watch how I soar.”

“Because I knew you, I have been changed for good”
– Elphaba “Elphie” Thropp and Galinda “Glinda” Arduenna Upland Wicked

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