I’ve grown weary of taking the vacuum canister to the trash dumpster on a daily basis. Today, after several days of similar, seeing that all the vacuumed fleas were dead–I dropped the minimal dust (when you vacuum daily, the dust is minimal) over the railing to the ground below. Don’t worry, I looked, first. Also, if our apartment management needs to learn to treat the grounds (which I have learned they are not doing), then so be their consequences. It’s far from a first resort, but they told us 14 days…. and it’s been more than 3 times that, by now!

At least we had a kick ass Austin No Kidding! Games Night in our new game room, sans fleas.

In the words of Bill Cosby’s routine, “I’m just sick….[and tired!]“

“Let’s Start at the Very Beginning…a Very Good Place to Start”

If you haven’t read my Parent-to-Childfree spectrum, check it out. Here are the basics:

• Parent – both a noun and a verb. Parents (n) wanted to have children and parent (v) them well.
• Childless – someone who wants kids, but can’t have them
• Childfree – someone who doesn’t want kids, not now, not ever

But What’s the Point?

Just like parents want to find families with kids the same age(s) for playdates and socializing, childfree people want to find friends with commonalities, too. Because of their schedules and the time it takes to properly care for children, it is difficult to be friends with parents. They simply don’t have time to be friends. When they do spend time with friends, it’s usually with the ones with kids so they are killing two birds with one stone. They almost never go to the trouble to hire a sitter to spend quality adult time with their childfree or childless friends. In addition, it’s heartbreaking to lose a close friend to the burdens of parenting. As childfree people, we have all been there and miss those friends terribly. In turn, we seek friends who won’t do that to us again….we seek friends who don’t ever want kids.[2]

Is that really so crazy to believe? ..that we just want to be around people like us?

Apparently, it is.

There are several parUNts out there (the three nasties claim to hail from Alabama or Mississippi, London, and Australia) who troll the #childfree tag just to pick fights and argue that it’s not “our” word/tag. So, here are my I-don’t-Tweet-these responses:

1. Get a life. Please go parent (v) your children.
2. Um, yes it is too our word. It was our word for decades before Twitter and hashtags existed; hell, it was “our” word before I was born. We don’t troll #parenting. Have a little mutual respect. (Or at least some common freakin’ sense.)
3. Read a book, the news, a blog, or something and get your head out of your ass. The world does not exist to pander to your offspring. You chose to have kids and claim they are the best things on Earth. If that’s really how you feel, then if I did chose to become a parent, you’d just be arguing with me that your kids are better than mine. Again, please just go away!
4. Why do you care? I like knitting. I don’t get on #quilting threads and bash quilters. What business is it of yours if I do or don’t have kids? Why do you care that I don’t want them? Do you also seek out people who choose not to own a car and bash on them? Do you also hate vegetarians? Haters gonna hate, I guess.
5. I don’t even want my own; I sure as hell don’t want to hear about yours….not after the “example” of a human being you’ve been.
6. Grow up.
7. I just want to read news stories, blog posts, jokes, etc. about/for the childfree culture. (and yes, we are a culture). That’s why I follow a tag called (amazingly!) #childfree. The fact that you’ve put your crotch trophy to bed is uninteresting and clogs the thread for good stuff. Yes, I have blocked and reported you for spam many times. So did many others. And, eventually, I stopped seeing most of your drivel.
8. We are only seeking one tiny little corner of the Internet where we can gather. Is your life as a parent really so miserable that you have to impede on our tiny sliver of space?
9. …and a constant loop of “fuck you!”

The Culture

So, what defines our culture, in general?

1. Adult conversations. There is never any mention of pee, poop, or puke. Rarely is there any talk of kids at all….they aren’t part of our lives. That doesn’t mean we don’t love and adore young family members and our friends’ kids. But we don’t interact with them much, so it’s a rare part of our conversation with anyone.
2. Spontaneity abounds. We can drop whatever we are doing and head out to Happy Hour without planning ahead of time for a sitter.
   (We did this on Tuesday with our friends Jeff and Judy. And, in 2009, we dropped our lives in BCS and moved to Austin without any cares about the time of year for kids/school, what school district we’d live in, or any safety/financial considerations of raising kids in a bigger city.)
3. Simple living. We can live our own lifestyle. We can work the job we want/like because we don’t have to maintain the salary necessary to support children.
   (Though we still think we had the most amazing house in Bryan and wish we could have moved it with us to Austin, it turns out we didn’t like being home owners. We don’t like maintenance for the lawn, plumbing, roof, A/C, etc.  We have fallen in love with apartment living….and when a light bulb burns out, we simply let someone know that they need to come change it. If we had kids, we would need a larger place, a yard, etc.)
4. Environmental. Some people choose to be childfree to minimize the impact on our dying planet. Most childfree people are good stewards to the planet by recycling, driving efficient cars, using minimal resources, etc.
5. Well read. Childfree people delve into books and movies. And, because we aren’t watching the sproglet’s current favorite for the 842nd time, we engage not only in more books/movies, but also in better quality ones.
6. Well Educated.
7. Fun. We user our time to further our on hobbies and interests. On the weekends, we aren’t stuck at 1-year-old birthday parties, soccer tournaments, or dance recitals. During the week, we aren’t schlepping anyone (other than ourselves!) to practices and rehearsals.
8. Technology not toys. We can have the latest/greatest gadgets.
9. …and many, many more!

We are a culture just like any other group with something in common. It’s time for the “nasties” to learn to be polite and respectful; after all, they have young/impressionables at home.

–

[1] They haven’t really “joined” and it’s not really a “conversation”. They have mommyjacked (or daddyjacked) the #childfree tag on Twitter, inserted themselves into a conversation where they have no real business being, and have rudely scoffed at childfree people for making a different choice than they did. WTF and why do they care? We all wish they would go back to parenting (again, as a verb) their offspring.

[2] Living in Aggieland was the same way. Every year, we had a very tearful goodbye to dear friends. One year, we lost three in one week. Someone is always graduating or taking that next big career opportunity. They were ~daily parts of our lives. Then, suddenly, they were gone.

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Austin is thriving with about six festivals/events today, and we considered attending two of them, but it just didn’t work out this time. Between traffic and parking, it’s just not worth the hassle. So, we’ll be avoiding downtown.

Don’t know where we’ll end up today, but it won’t matter as long as we’re with each other.

Happy Anniversary, Emil!

I’ve researched far more than I ever wanted to about fleas. I even talked to the County Entomologist. Almost everyone told me 10-14 days. The third guy from our pest control place was the only one who said 14-21 days. The vet tech said they could live as long as 8 months in a dormant state. (And that’s why sometimes people move into a house that’s been vacant and find fleas. They “woke” them from a type of hibernation.)

This is day 28 and we are just now seeing the effects of all our hard work (vacuuming every day, emptying/cleaning the vacuum every day, one full can of spray, two treatments of diatomaceous earth, & a homemade trap of a light hanging over a plate of water) and three professional treatments. At least they have mostly stayed in my office (knock-on-wood). The cats have Revolution, so every flea we’ve found on them has been dead. I don’t understand why we can’t just put Revolution on the carpet?

Anyway Flea Fest 2012 has kept us from unpacking my office as well as setting up a few other things around the apartment. It’s also keeping me from get much work done, never mind having anyone over.

At the moment, there is one flea in the trap I cleaned at ~4pm yesterday and two are biting me….that’s my signal to vacuum again. Have a happy flea-free weekend.

–

It’s been a decade.

I still miss you very much.

Daddy, you are loved.

–

Now, I know why I woke up with tear-stained cheeks.

• Miami played FSU in basket ball (and had a darn good showing!)
• Our No Kidding! chapter had our annual Chocolate party on Valentine’s weekend.
• This past weekend was a beer tour at Circle Brewery (owned by a Miami alumnus!)
• The same day, we attended a Mardi Gras party hosted by two Creole Cajuns!

• The new cat door came in. We tested it, their new stairs, and their new ramp-with-landing that we built. I’ll try to grab some pictures when we get them installed.
• We sold the washer and dryer to some friends. They have had their house back since 1-Feb, but are remodeling the bathroom before they move in on Saturday. So, we held on to them for a bit longer; they picked them up on Sunday evening.
• Emil packed his desktop computer and took apart his desk.
• I packed the pantry and laundry stuff.
• We are making decisions about “order”, now. We put the stuff from our balcony storage by the door so they will be the first things to go on the truck from the apartment. We had to think this through because the movers are going to the big storage unit, first, where they will get stuff for both the new apartment (furniture) and stuff for the new garage. Then, they’ll come to the apartment to get more stuff for both places. Third stop is the new apartment and then they’ll finally drop off the last of it at the new garage. whew! It’s not quite as complex as “transition day” was when I advised tcamp, but it’s close.
• I’ve had the “how did we fit all this stuff into this apartment” argument with myself at least three times.
• I’ve “drowned” my phone two times this week: once with water and once with pomegranate juice. So far, it seems unharmed. (hope hope hope)
• The cats are bipolar. Marble is curious about every little piece of wrapping and packing materials. Purrrrrl only wants to hide from it all.
• Oh, and it wouldn’t be a big event in my life if I didn’t manage to get sick. I have whatever head cold type thing is floating around, so my breaks are for sinus washes and drugs. And, I have no voice.
• I’ve only dug through one packed box (to find antiobiotics) and need to get back into one more (for super sticky notes), if I can.

We need to make one more trip to the storage unit to sort what goes into the apartment and what goes into the new garage. Except for that and the rest of the packing, I think we are ready.

OH! and the best news: Grandaddy is walking a little bit! I don’t know how much or how far since I can’t talk (rending the phone useless) but I’ve had two messages from Mama Bee about that. Oh So Exciting!

We have loved (and Yelped and rated 5*s and bragged about) Time Warner Cable, eventhough everyone else hates them. If you doubt me, look them up on any ratings site like Yelp or Google Places.

This week, though, I’m ticked at the total runaround we are getting while trying to transfer (i.e. keep) our current cable plan.

Emil called to set up the appointment for after the move-in date of the 25th. He expected this to be on Monday the 27th. But, we know they fill up and want to get an appointment, soon. We pay $110.16 a month for cable and Internet. We don’t want to miss anything. (Remember, we have TiVo. It only needs to record so we can watch it later. It doesn’t matter that we’ll be busy unpacking for a few days.)

• He was told they can’t set it up until after the 25th. No, no, no. We don’t want it set UP before that date, we want an APPOINTMENT on/after that date. TWC “Customer Service Rep” does not understand. He’s a drone reading from a script with no authority to think for himself (standard) and no authority to escalate the call to a supervisor, apparently (unacceptable).
• We sign our lease and mention it to the new apartments; she’s only ever heard of this one time. Still, we have the pages.
• I go to the Time Warner Cable office and show them the lease. They not only won’t set an appointment, they tell me there are “no supervisors”. It’s a ~five story building and there is no one who can be any help. I talk to the receptionist “nazi” for the building. She directs me back to “billing”. I explain that I don’t have a billing issue, I have a service issue. Still, she reiterates that no one in the building can be of any help. She might be a good “guard dog” but she’s a liar. Why do they think customers are stupid?
• I call again when I get home. I’m told that if we have the lease we can go up to the office. Nope, just got back from there. I demand a supervisor.
• While I’m on hold (for a good 10 minutes), I Tweet the problem and get an instant response from @TWCableHelp. I send them the account number and my phone number and they escalate the problem to management in a matter of moments.
• Supervisor finally comes on the phone and swears there is nothing they can do until the current residents move out. He’s condescending and says, “how would you like it if we shut off your cable while you were still living there.” I try and try to explain to him that I don’t care WHAT they do with regard to that other account. And, since we move in on the 25th, even if they forget to turn off their cable, they won’t notice because they won’t be living there any longer. It’s like talking to a wall. He just doesn’t get it! All he can offer is some kind of reminder in their system. What? That’s useless.

Flawed Logic

So, let’s pretend they’ve had some big series of problems to require this new rule. Just for fun, we’ll assume apartments can be flipped in 5 days.

• We need to move in on the 25th, but we can’t get cable until the people moving out on the 20th.
• They need to transfer their cable, but can’t because the people before them aren’t out and won’t be until the 15th
• Those people can’t transfer their cable until the 10th
• …the 5th
• …and so on.

How is it possible that our account is depending on someone with a window of time from Feb 10-15 three levels “removed” from us? It’s not like any of us know each other. Are we supposed to knock on doors and leave notes, “please call to have your cable transferred so I can do the same.” WTF?

Monkey Wrench

We don’t have to be out of Riata until 22-March. And, I’m assuming it would be our prerogative to have cable in two places if that’s what we wanted to do. So, we could “hold” the cable at this apartment for an extra month…keeping the future residents (who might even know now that they are getting this apartment) from getting their cable installation appointment.

But, if we could have the appointment to transfer our cable on the date of the lease….which makes SENSE, then their system would show that ours is turning off on the 25th and would leave time for the new Riata residents to schedule their installation/transfer, too.

Time Warner Cable’s system is making all of us into squatters….and screwing it up for anyone waiting in line behind everyone else. No wonder I see more and more satellite dishes.

Real Help

So, if you are on Twitter, know that @TWCable_TX is useless. They were rude. Their logic is only based on what they can read on a screen. They even refused me the chance to talk to a supervisor of any kind. Um, we pay you people $110+ a month. If I request a supervisor so I don’t have to be talked down to, I better get it.

By contrast, @TWCableHelp is quite nice. They were quick to respond and I had a call back just moments later. What’s more, I didn’t have to start the story over from the beginning. Before Laura called me back, she called the gal who lives in our apartment, set up a time to get her new info, and it will be taken care of by 10pm this evening when Laura’s shift ends.

I did ask her, what happens when that customer runs into the same problem from the residents at the place she’s moving into? Laura said that’s really rare and won’t likely happen. Well, I guess that’s good news, but I’m going to laugh in her face if it does. She did say that if it does, she’ll figure something out. Turns out this a BILLING problem. Surprise! Billing runs the show at ye olde Customer Service department. I guess that explains why I we had to try four times before we could get any real help from someone with any authority.

In addition, Laura apologized for the inept Customer Serviceless jerk at the TWC office as well as their refusal of a supervisor. In her words, “unacceptable.” And, she’s right.

One Person (nah, Two!) Makes All the Difference

Laura promised me that she’d have this fixed within her shift. After all the bad customer service lately, I don’t know why I was able to believe her, but I did. At 7pm, she called to say she’d transferred the other resident’s cable and was ready to set ours up. She click-click-clicked through the process verifying addresses along the way. I never once I had to repeat anything because she truly listened to me for the information. Without missing a beat, she said, “There is normally a transfer fee, but we’re going to waive that for all the hassle you’ve had.” She then told us that she personally would be working on the day of our installation. She said she made all her notes in our file and put her extension in there, too. So, if we have any problems we can call and just ask for her. Even a barely-trained employee can put us through to her.

I thanked her and told her she “saved” Time Warner Cable in our minds. I explained that this whole process was making us re-think how much we’ve tooted their horn in spite of others’ hate. She saved them from us jumping on the bandwagon.

One person really can make all the difference. Laura fixed everything that was wrong. We owe our thanks to her and to BP and his/her assistance with the Twitter account, @TWCableHelp for connecting us to her.

Backstory

[Stories that start like this are getting old.] Back in college, I bought some cute socks. My less-that-$10 check was returned by my bank for “account closed”. After many frustrating dealings with TeleCheck and the “collections” people (who called multiple times of day at all hours, were rude/condescending even though I was returning their calls, etc.) I loudly demanded–in a busy lobby, no less–that the bank fix the problem. They did; moments later, I closed the account. I also vowed to never-again shop at a store that “proudly uses” TeleCheck. If I know they use it, I don’t spend money there. I have plenty of other options. [TeleCheck® MISTAKE #1: Believing it is always the customer and it could "never" be the bank's error. TeleCheck® MISTAKE #2 Not recognizing that if a customer returns calls, she is trying to fix the problem; A hateful tone is not appropriate and will not be tolerated. TeleCheck® MISTAKE #3: Going "Special Forces" on me for a less-than-$10 transaction. Hedge your bets wisely, people.]

Aside

Why do checks even exist, still? Besides thieves, whom are they serving by providing the option to pay by check? I know some people pay bills via check and never changed that habit. My grandparents have never used the Internet and don’t own a computer, but they could Check By Phone to pay bills. We all cringe and moan collectively when we’re in line behind a check writer. Finally, most stores prefer debit/credit cards or cash, and many have eliminated checks altogether.

All These Years Later, TeleCheck Still Sucks

With our new apartment, we wanted the same auto-draft. They offer it, but we were told we’d have to pay in “certified funds” instead. What? I call the “credit” company that the apartment people use, Lexis Nexis. They say I have a history of writing bad checks…as reported by none other than TeleCheck.

I fired off an angry Tweet at BBVA Compass because they used to bounce my good checks all the time. I get an immediate response from Compass and find out that they did no such thing in my closed-for-over-a-year account. The woman who helped me was quite nice and patient and understanding. I thanked her and updated my Twitter feed with the resolution. I wish she’d been available when I needed help before! [TeleCheck® COST ME: a quick Tweet/response, a 30-minute email to explain the problem, and a 30-minute phone call to further clarify and ensure BBVA Compass was not the cause. ]

I contact TeleCheck who tells me that Walmart in McAlester, Oklahoma (pretty sure I’ve never been there) put me down for a hot check. I call and talk to them. $280+ dollars worth was stolen via a bad check. The “perp” used my TX drivers license number as ID for the check. Walmart tells me I can only dispute this with TeleCheck. [TeleCheck® MISTAKE #4: Telling me to contact the Walmart store.]

TELECHECK’S BIG OVERARCHING MISTAKE: NOT VERIFYING THE NAME ON THE CHECK AGAINST THE NAME ASSOCIATED WITH THAT TEXAS DRIVERS’ LICENSE NUMBER. THIS NEVER SHOULD HAVE GONE THROUGH AT ALL!

I check the website, but TeleCheck doesn’t have a form for my particular type of fraud. It wasn’t my checking account, and it wasn’t a typical forgery. I call TeleCheck again. I’m already weary of the scripted “calming phrases” and “robot” accent their customer service reps have. [TeleCheck® MISTAKE #5: I'm certain they are hiring only foreign nationals and/or outsourcing their customer service to another country. Through the whole process, I only talked to one guy who could pronounce English.] Anyway he tells me which form to use. [TeleCheck® COST ME: 1 hour of "research" time.]

I fill it out, drive to my credit union, stand in line, get it notarized, and drive to the post office to mail it to Houston. Next door to my post office, I notice offices for First Data. They own TeleCheck. Ironic, huh? [TeleCheck® MISTAKE #6: Why does this form have to be notarized? Emil just had a similar fraud problem over Xmas and his form didn't have to be notarized. Why do you impose another errand on me?] [TeleCheck® COST ME: 1 hour of time, 7 miles of driving, one envelope, and one stamp.]

I’m supposed to hear back within ten business days, but I never do, so, on the 12th business day, I call TeleCheck again. Little did I know that I’d spend my entire morning on this mess.

• No one with a robot accent understands the one most basic and simple fact: I did not write a check. I haven’t written checks in years. I don’t own checks. It’s physically impossible for me to write a check.
• Robot female Customer Service Rep (CSR) can not explain why I never heard from TeleCheck, but after a verifying every bit of data three times and asking for my first born, claims “it’s updated”. Updated to what? (Updated could just mean she logged my call!) “It’s been updated?” Yes, but what does that mean? “You can write a check.” arrrrrrgggggh After three laps around this conversation, I finally get her to tell me that it’s been “cleared”–or some similar language–from my record at TeleCheck.  Then, I ask her how long it will take to update the credit agencies. She doesn’t understand the question and keeps telling me I can write a check. So, I demand a supervisor. Three times. Apparently, they can’t transfer you until you ask three times.
• Supervisor Robot Eric #3641 assures me the update is instant and that Lexis Nexis can look at TeleCheck’s records. Now, I’ve worked in enough IT to know that can’t possibly be true for about a million security reasons. Turns out, LN can issue a request and get an almost-instant answer, but they can not access TeleCheck’s records or see their screens or any such nonsense.
• I call Lexis-Nexis and get the same report. The blip still shows. I tell him, “Y’all need to use someone else. TeleCheck doesn’t know what they are doing.” The LN rep scoffs at my comment. Whatever, Dude. I’m allowed to have an opinion. If one of my vendors treated any of my clients like this, I’d drop them like a hot potato!
• I call TeleCheck and get stuck in Call Processing Hell. Again, there is no real option for me. I Google for new numbers and try one. I’m told she can’t help me and that I have to call their “only” number. She gives me a number different than the one I called, and I get the same call processing menu. By this point, I’m convinced that they hide company information so customers can’t reach them, only publish “one” number so they can change it in an attempt to hide from the vast array of bad Internet reviews, and finally, (paranoia sets in) that their system flags my number as one that called previously to stick me in a bigger runaround on subsequent calls.
• When I get through, Male Robot CSR can not help me, either. He tells me the check was from wEEEnoose State Bank and asks if I have an account there. “What did you say? Where? No, it doesn’t matter, I’ve never heard of that bank and have never had an account there.” After some more conversation circling, it occurs to me I need to make sure someone didn’t open an account in my name and ask him to spell the bank. Ennis. Of course. Male Robot CSR insists that it’s “updated”. I explain, “clearly, it isn’t or LN would be able to see the update.” I’m told that Lexis Nexis will need to call TeleCheck to verify the new status. What? And, I’m given the 1-800-366-2425 number.
• I ask what call processing option they will need to select and I’m told there won’t be one. Sure. I call the number and get the same menu I’ve heard over and over. Lying bastard.
• I call Ennis State Bank (which does not rhyme with Penoose Fake Lake), where I’m quickly transferred, talked to a very sweet woman who confirms that they have no accounts with either my SSN or DL number. Whew! And, score +1 for small business.
• I call LN one more time and tell another rep that TeleCheck wants her to call them. Of course, she says they can’t…and even if they could call, they can’t rely on a verbal assurance; they can only rely on what they see on their screens. She pulls it up and sure enough, it’s not updated.
• I break down in tears. I begin to understand why people are sometimes violent toward businesses. I also tell her, “Y’all have got to find someone else to do business with. They are making you look bad.” I remember that First Data, TeleCheck’s parent company, is right around the corner. She’s kind and listens to me vent and rant while I get dressed for my search for a live human. I thank her for her patience and hang up.
• Once less angry (but still upset), I drive over there. Gates. Of course. I was about to give up when it opened. The locked door says the receptionist is out today. I am part way through dialing the number for access when someone comes to let me in. I ask to speak to “someone who works with TeleCheck and the way they report to Lexis Nexis.” No one in Austin. Of course. Two women were very nice, but zero help. I explain that the CSRs and Supervisors aren’t trained for my situation and are no help; I ask, “Do you have any contact information for anyone in that department?” Nope. Of course. According to her, all their Customer Service is in Denver. I ask about the Houston office and she says she doesn’t know what they do there. Whatever. I leave in tears. On the way out I notice the parking lot is full of a lot of very nice cars. I don’t know what the Austin office does, but it pays quite well….and that just makes me hate them even more. [TeleCheck® COST ME: 3.5 miles of driving.]
• I refuse to be beaten by this thievery, so I start over. I figure I’ll just keep calling and pretending it’s a whole new story until I get someone who isn’t a Robot and/or who can understand the problem enough to help. I get Mike #5672 who, at first, I think is going to be the same, but turns out to understand the problem fully, removes the flag from my file, says it’s fixed, and tells me to wait 72 hours. Um. What? Is it fixed or will it be fixed in 72 hours? Clearly, this part of his training was a bit vague, because he can’t clarify. So, I ask for a reference number and get one!
• One final call to LN….and after sitting on hold again for a very long time, I get the same CSR I had the second time. Before I could even get the beginning of my story out, she cut me off to ask, “What did you say your name was?”…and tells me she’s the same one from before. She types in the application number. Clickity-click-click…and then sweetness pours from her mouth to my ears, “Well all your persistence paid off, my Dear, it’s cleared from your record. Congratulations!” I verify that our new apartment complex won’t have to pay to have it re-run. She says nope.
• I fire off an email to our Leasing Agent who re-runs her end. All flags cleared! We can now pay our rent like normal people….and not like those stuck in the previous millennium.
• [TeleCheck® COST ME: 3 hours of time.]

The Invoice

Another Backstory

In ~1999 I was getting far too many phone calls from AT&T asking me to be their long distance carrier. We both had mobile numbers by then and didn’t need long distance, but I couldn’t get them to take my name/number off their list. The “really cool” part was that every caller was someone famous: LaToya, Janet, and Michael (Jackson, I assume) all called multiple times a night and past 9pm. I tried being nice. I resorted to being hateful so they wouldn’t want to call. Nothing worked, and I had had enough.

I called 1-800-555-1212 and asked for the a number for AT&T Accounts Payable. Bingo. I called for their fax number. I invoiced them about $100. I included a log of days/times they called. The invoice was an MS Office template, but I poured on the details (like “services are billed in 15-minute increments”). I never got paid, but I also never got another call from AT&T Long Distance.

Today

So, I’m making an invoice. TeleCheck® cost me:

• 6 hours of time @$55/hr = $330
• 10.5 miles of driving @$0.555/mile (2012 IRS rate) = $5.83
• 1 envelope @$1.49 plus tax = $1.61
• 1 stamp @$0.45
• Admin fee (for invoicing paperwork) = $55

Total: $392.89

I certainly don’t expect that TeleCheck will pay this invoice, but if they do, I’ll update this blog and online reviews that they made good on their mistake.

Contact TeleCheck

If you are forced to call their toll free number (1-888-288-0131 or 1-800-366-2425), ask for Mike #5672.

No matter who tells you what, ask for a Reference Number at the end of the call.

If you have to report fraud, the forms are on their site, you’ll have to get them notarized and either fax them or mail them to a PO Box in Houston.

And since I have this information but couldn’t find it anywhere online, if you have a TeleCheck complaint, address it to their office in Houston:

TeleCheck
Consumer Resolution
Office of the President
6th floor
PO Box 4514
Houston, TX 77210-4514

(yeah, sure, the company President cares about complaints;
and, if this is a Texas-owned company, why aren’t they nicer?;
and I didn’t know you could get multiple-story PO Boxes!)

Update:

In posting my complaint on PlanetFeedback.com, I found the “home office” for TeleCheck.

CEO
Telecheck
5660 New Northside Drive
Atlanta, Georgia
30328