The Move

Last year, our rent went up almost 10% and added some fees, too. We knew it would happen again (we heard rumors of $100-$150 increases in 1/1 units!), so we started shopping around. It had to be a Perfect Storm in a lot of ways. It’s not worth moving unless we can stay close to the same total expenses, get more space, get nicer fixtures and stuff, etc. Well, when we started looking around, there were a lot of ways we could make this happen. So, on 25-Feb, we’ll have a new place to live. We have until 22-Mar to get out of Riata, but we’re hiring movers so we can leave early in the hope that they can flip our unit quickly like they did for our neighbor. We have been quite happy at Riata. Unless they screw us over on move-out, I’ll give them a 5-star rating on Yelp. But, when we got this “shoebox” shaped apartment, it was an amazing deal we just couldn’t pass up while we still had a mortgage. We were so happy here that when the lease came around, twice, we just stayed. Now, we’re ready to face moving again to go for bigger/better.

We looked at ~20 places and had a very strong Top 5 list. I fell “in like” with two leasing specialists, one where an acquaintance of ours lives. We found: a lovely town home, an über quiet place up the road, hardwood floors, door-to-door valet trash service, amazing views, and a couple of places with a lot of rugrats. All of the options gave us more space (so I can use Daddy’s desk again!), better amenities for our lifestyle, garage options (so we can stop paying for a storage unit primarily for Daddy’s desk and “junk”), better fixtures, and a better layout.

Just like we did when house hunting, we made a matrix of all the “stuff”. And just like most brides do with a wedding gown, we ended up at the first place we wanted to see: Villas at Stone Oak Ranch. We have good/affordable access to a game room and a 30-seat movie theater. There is a “gift wrap” area full of paper and tape and scissors. All the standards are there too: gym, pool, business center, etc. We have a detached garage, a square balcony, “Romeo & Juliet” doors off the dining room (which I’ve re-named Rapunzel doors), garden tubs, a kitchen that is open on two ends, an excellent pantry, and data ports in all the rooms. The only things we didn’t get: gas cooking (REALLY hard to find) and a fireplace (again? dammit!). But the deal was just too good to pass up compared to the other places in consideration.

Aside: During the process we met an amazing woman named Wendie. She gave us the low-down on why so many communities are doing away with their hot tubs. Turns out, some really scary (as in: there is no known cure) stuff can survive even in 104?-temperature chemical-treated water. The report is new and we could not find it online, but it’s scary. Do not, I repeat: DO NOT get in a public hot tub. Feet only. No “sensitive” areas allowed. eeeeeewwww!

Don’t worry friends and family: we’re hiring movers. We are also cleaning out the storage unit and holding a big moving sale in their parking lot. What doesn’t get sold is getting donated. Goodwill is going to LOVE us! LMK if you are close and care about the few big-ticket items we’re selling.

Oh! And we were able to surprise a friend with the referral fee paid to REALTORs. She’s a single mom and a cancer survivor, so she was elated with the news.

(The) Grandaddy

Grandaddy is quite frustrated and bored. His hip is so messed up from the botched “Paris-effin’-Texas” surgery that he can’t sit up. He’s been laying down since Hallowe’en. The Longview/Tyler doctors have deemed all surgical options too risky. Health care is a joke from the beginning; but in a small town that is 20 years behind the times, 1 hour from an interstate highway, and 2 hours from anything you’ve ever heard of, it’s nothing short of tragic. Mama Bee is still fighting the residuals from the beotch who called APS on her (the witch has since apologized), but no one wants to take Grandaddy on as a client. They claim he’ll have a stroke if he stays in bed too much longer, but they won’t come help her get him the physical therapy he needs to get out of the hospital bed. It’s heartbreaking….worse so to be physically and financially powerless to help. If I could wave a magic wand, I’d care-flight him to one of those fancy-schmancy places in Dallas where he’d get all the help he needs. Again, I need to win the lottery for that. I don’t know what those places cost, but even the crappy Paris nursing homes are $6K per month…and for terrible care compared with what my Grandmother can do (even at her small stature).

The Fraud

In the midst of The Move, we got a call that we’d have to pay rent with “certified funds” like a cashier’s check or money order. We’ve been on auto-draft, so this would be a real pain in the butt. Today, I called the “ladder” of people to find out the cause. Some jackass spoofed my Texas driver’s license number when writing a bad check at Walmart in a town I’ve never been to in Oklahoma. Telecheck reported it to credit on my DL number without checking any facts like the name. So, now, I’m in the middle of yet another fraud mess. I’ve lost count of how many times this has happened. So, to all the people who gave me shit (my sorority included) for wanting to protect my SSN, DL, DOB, mailing address, and other “credit” information, Fuck You! THIS is why. Less than $300 of stupid means we have to get a money order for rent every month? Are you kidding? Since Emil was just frauded over Xmas, this is just another reason to try to get off the financial grid. I haven’t even owned checks in years and I’m still dealing with this kind of bullshit.

Dear Walmart: stop taking checks. They are not money. They are only theft.

“Dear” Telecheck, this a’int our first rodeo for something completely out of my control. I already don’t shop at any store that posts they use you. You have needed better processes since ~1993 when I bought <$10 worth of socks from one of your client stores. Your sign in the window means I don’t shop there. fuckers. Oh, and if you think I’m alone in my opinion, search “telecheck” on Twitter. You need to learn/use social media, too, BTW.

The Fun

Austin is about to ride the big wave of fun that is Spring. Right after we move in, we’ll have RISE (free workshops for entrepreneurs) and the four South by Southwest conferences. I’ve been invited to return tot he photo crew for SXSW. And, I’ve been selected to wrangle for another all-time favorite photographer at Texas School in May. It’s a fun ride, but it’s a sprint, so jump on board fast if you want to hang with us!

Oh, and for those of you close by, look for a party in April or May. The party room at the new place is stellar (pool, poker, shuffleboard, music, swimming, etc.)

Touched by my friend Nanette (whom I’ve met IRL a couple of times, but feel I’ve known in my soul for a lifetime or two), I give you my newly-stolen 2012 mantra:

“Prioritize joy, now!”

Now, go read her words of inspiration and the post that instigated her’s.

And Nanette, Friend, though we’ve known each other briefly in this short life, please know that I love you. (#7 was a close second for my 2012 mantra thievery.)

Your Turn

Do you have theme/mantra/slogan for 2012? If so, please share! And, if you have resources for the, please cite/share. We all love to share the love.

Jeff and Judy are fabulous and comfortable hosts, so we had plenty of options for snackage and drinkage. They got a Hickory Farms gift for xmas filled with summer sausage, cheese, mustard, fancy crackers, etc.

They also shopped a little. Wallace and Gromit fans: we got to try Wensleydale Cheese! (Come On! Say it in your best Queen’s English Accent, “Weeeeeennn-sley-dale!!!”) I was tempted to have more that just a taste. nom nom nom. I didn’t expect to like this exact one because it was laced with cranberries (texture issues) but it was divine and smooth! Emil liked it too, which says a lot about the cranberries adding to the flavor in a good way!

We had some great beer and wine options, but since I was officially skipping a dose of Codeine for a respiratory infection, I kept a slow pace. They did send us home with a lovely bottle of Innovac!ón wine. It’s a Tempranillo Malbec from the Mendoza region in Argentina. Bliss. In. A. Glass. I hear it’s at Specs and even Costco!

Judy was the only one who would eat Hoppin’ John with meat, so she made one like none I’d ever seen: with collard greens and ham. Interesting. It smelled good and inspired me to add greens to my next vegan version of the same.

Emil grabbed his usually favorite party snack tray from HEB and about 30 bottles of Dr. Pepper.

I made two new things that were just lovely, in my vegan opinion. (And, since both casseroles I made for xmas were so bland I dumped all of them down the disposal, this was a nice change of pace.)

Vegan Chili-con-queso

• 1 can vegan chili (Some are just beans and tomatoes with seasonings. Others have textured soy protein for a “ground meat” feel to them.)
• 1 8oz tub of vegan cream cheese

1. Bring the cream cheese close to room temperature.
2. Heat the chili for 2-3 minutes in a microwave.
3. Blend the two together.
4. Microwave again as necessary to blend and/or just before serving.
5. Serve warm with tortilla chips.

This is the closest thing to a real queso I’ve had and it was good. Judy liked it, too! The beauty is that any of you can pick up a can of Wolf Brand chili and cream cheese and do the same non-vegan version. The recipe didn’t call for heating it, and it is good when it’s no longer warm, but it was so much better heated up! One advantage of the vegan version is that there is nothing in it that will spoil if it sits out all night for a long party. So, if you are taking this to share, you might consider keeping it vegan for convenience.

Cream Cheese Sandwich Spread

• 1 8oz tub of vegan cream cheese, room temperature
• fresh garlic, minced; to taste. (I used about 2 Tablespoons and it was quite garlicky.)
• 1-2 bell peppers (the small red one I was was not quite enough. I’ll use two colors next time.), diced
• celery, diced (based more on taste/texture than anything. I used about half a small bundle. I’ll add more next time.)

1. Bring the cream cheese close to room temperature.
2. Mince the garlic and dice the veggies.
3. Blend all together.
4. Serve with crackers, baguette pieces, Melba toast, etc. Or, use as a spread on your favorite veggie sandwich.

I’ve been in a hummus and guacamole rut, so this got me right out of it. I can’t wait to try it again with other veggies (carrots? tiny broccoli?) and on a sandwich with fresh veggies to compliment. Again, if you aren’t vegan, use your favorite cream cheese and some crisp veggies for fresh noshing. This will be great in the summer (and since it was 78 degrees on New Year’s Eve in Austin, it was a welcome refreshment.)

Whatever way you found to celebrate, we hope it was grand.

“Czech” it out!

Last year, I was to ill to participate in any part of Hallowe’en. I had one of those colds that lasted for days….and all the wrong days, at that! Since Hallowe’en is far and above my favorite holiday, I was not a happy camper. My costume was recycled from a fundraiser a few years ago, so I wasn’t that exited about it, anyway. (Curses to the crack pot who gave the Hallowe’en party a theme. WTF? I guess she doesn’t realize that themes only work for the person who picks them!)

This year, we made it to the No Kidding! party  and had a really good time. But ~30 hours later, while I suffered insomnia, Emil awoke unable to breathe. So, while tonight could have had some small have-to-work-tomorrow adventure to celebrate this fun holiday, we are at home. He’s “in there” and I’m “in here” because we don’t want him to share.

dammit.

Why can’t this happen at Christmas since it’s my least favorite holiday?

Excuse me, I have to go wash my hands with bleach.

“No” can be anything from a simple “No, thank you,” to “it wasn’t really rape because I was too tired to insist ‘no’.”

Yes, the spectrum is broad.

My/Our Backstory

Disclosure: In all fairness, this is the most transparent example we have. It’s not the “worst” or the most poignant.

I had a co-worker/friend who we regularly invited to our Halloween parties. She was a friend from work that I’d love to hang out with in a more casual setting

For Halloween, people get lots of invitations for the big party nights leading up that holiday. We always held our party on “the Saturday before or on Halloween”, like everyone else did. Turns out, that’s her kid’s birthday weekend ~every year. And, since he’s a nearly-Halloween baby, they threw a big party with amazing decorations and a haunted house in their garage and invited every friend he’d ever met. I totally understood that she could “never” come to our party. Yet, every year, she’d neglect to RSVP (on eVite, no less! It’s just one click.) because she was afraid of disappointing me. I’d even get emails from her explaining why she couldn’t RSVP. Huh?

Um, no.

RSVP is an acronym for the French expression répondez s’il vous plaît, which translates to “please respond”. It is the guest’s responsibility to respond whether or not s/he will attend the event. This is because the host/ess need a head count for food and drinks and party favors and costume contest prizes.

By not responding, these potential guests cause a hardship on the host/ess and other guests. After all, who wants to host a party without enough beverages? Who wants to attend a party without enough food? Who wants to buy enough food/drinks for all the potential guests who might show up but didn’t let you know if they really will or not? Especially in this “double dip” recession, be polite. RSVP “Yes” OR “No”!

It’s okay to say, “no”.

Really, it is! It’s far preferable to ignoring the invitation. It’s even preferable to a separate email explaining why you can’t RSVP instead of just clicking the “no” button on the eVite. Not everyone can attend every event. It’s okay to politely decline.

Correlating Examples

One of Emil’s friends also held a Halloween party on the same weekend every year. He invited us, and we said “sorry, no, we have a party, too”. We invited them with the same response. We had the courtesy to RSVP to each others’ parties. If the calendars had ever fallen out of–or is it into?–sync, we’d have attended their party in a heart beat. And, vice versa.

In addition, we routinely went to other parties on subsequent or same weekends. We’ve partied on both Friday and Saturday, crawled next door to the other party on the same night, had guests from that party show up at our house, done full-on party swap with our guests and their’s (neighbors can do these things), and attended parties on the “other” weekend celebrating the holiday.

And, we still ended up in the bar district on Halloween night most years. With Halloween, it’s totally doable.

Recently

Especially since we are in a new market, I’ve said yes to a lot of volunteer opportunities. I’ve donated gift certificates, photographed events for free, and given a lot of my time and/or talents to a wide variety of events. All for the sake of getting As You Wish and Lori Luza in front of people who might offer or refer business to me.

One example: After running an online promotion, I was asked to donate to a school. While I was happy to do it, it was a lot more work than I anticipated with regard to the setup and pickup. I have no idea who bought my gift certificate. I still–more than a year later–don’t know what they made. I can’t blog their event and help showcase them because I don’t have even the most basic of details. And without a claim on the gift certificate, I didn’t make any money on print sales to make up for the donation hassle I experienced with this “charity”.

There have been other examples, too (including one where I hauled trash) where I was “invisible”.

To Be Fair

There are also shining examples of great donor/volunteer experiences. I’ve been over-the-top recognized, gloriously thanked, and truly brought to tears with adoration and appreciation. This is not about those! This is about the opposite experiences.

For two years, now, I’ve offered to shoot the Austin Alumnae Zeta Tau Alpha event and put a gift certificate in their auction. Every single part of it was smooth, all recognition was given, and I landed wonderful new clients, too! My sisters came through for me.

Why: facebook.

I believe that facebook is a large–and the most recent–part of the reason for this dodgy behavior. No longer do people have to say “no” to things. They can just ignore them indefinitely. In fact, facebook changed “Become a Fan” to “Like” because the language implies less commitment. Really? It’s a commitment to be a fan, now? And, facebook changed the verbiage for declining a friend from “no” to “ignore (for now)”. No wonder no one can RSVP “yes” or “no” to an event. <sarcasm>Thank you</sarcasm>, facebook, you’ve just dumbed-down basic commitment to the level we all feared. So, when did facebook get to dictate the standard for other etiquette? How it happens on facebook is not a fair comparison to how it will/might happen in real life, especially if postage and catering are involved!

Resolution

My Resolution–consider this a Spring Cleaning–is that I will say: “no, thank you”, “no”, “nope”, “nuh uh”, and (again) “no” more often. I will politely decline any opportunity that I feel won’t give me (or my business) proper billing. I give a polite “No, thank you,” to any group that doesn’t have good web/blog and social media presences. I need to get fair marketing mileage out of any donation.

Curious?

If you care how I plan to meter this out for As You Wish, you can read my donations expectations. I plan to be a lot more strict than that with my personal obligations. After all, time I spend with Emil, family, and friends is priceless.

The Future

Are we so afraid to politely say “yes” or “no” that we’ll stop having any kind of commitment? Will weddings and other major events become a free-for-all of an unknown number of guests that affects a great deal of expensive logistics? Will casual get-togethers become logistical nightmares?

The Telling Past

Dare I recall the story of the “usual” crowd being invited to our regular Tuesday Ninfa’s gathering. (We averaged 8-10 people, but that week, we changed the count with the hostess far too many times, until it was over 20. After that night, they made a rule: 8 maximum on Tuesdays. We were that much of a burden on their operations and processes. How embarrassing! If we’d know we’d be a group of 20+, I’d have called them that afternoon to ask for the side room.)

Finally

If we can’t say “yes” and mean it, how will we ever accomplish anything? If we can’t say “no” and mean it, how will each of us ever craft out time for ourselves or our other obligations?

The morning Gorge tour was a bit early for me: 9am. The people there were clearly more “morning” than I am. But, with the help of caffeine, and after we finished the initial information and started the hike, I was ready.

In 2002 a massive flood hit Canyon Lake. In one day, they got their entire rainfall for a year: 34″. The extreme power through the overflow unearthed a gorge full of our planet’s history. The water flowed approximately 7 feet above the overflow (remember, there is a dam, too!) and then contained flowing about six weeks. The sound of that much water was described as several 747 airplanes taking off at the same time…and the water kept flowing for ~6 weeks!

Between hiking and learning, our tour lasted almost four hours. If you are ever in the area, the tour is a MUST DO! Tickets are only $10 and you only need 24 hours notice to sign up.

We had enjoyed the Lucky Sailor marina restaurant so much, we decided to try their “sister” and had lunch at Lucky’s Kitchen. meh. Once again, I’m reminded of how much I love Austin.

I-35 is always a “guess”, so we headed home back through the back roads that led us to Canyon Lake. This time, we drove through a little more of Wimberly. What a cute little town. We will have to go visit it one of these days!

At home, Emil napped (surprise) while I took care of a few business tasks.

Our vacation commenced with The Princess Bride Quote-Along at the Alamo Drafthouse with Beth and Marc. Best movie experience EVER! SO much fun. As we entered the theater, they gave us blow up swords, bells, and bubbles. They pulled a couple up on stage for a movie-themed trivia duel and gave away Alamo passes to a future show. We were then instructed to ring the bells for any kisses/love, blow bubbles during the wedding scene, stand up and spin in our spots when Westley rolls down the hill, and play along with the swords during the fighting scenes. While most of us were quoting lots of lines of the movie, the first official quoted line on screen was none other than, “As you wish…” I can’t WAIT for them to host a Quote-Along for When Harry Met Sally and Legally Blonde!

These talks always meander and wander from one topic to the next and sometimes come back to the original story with an, “Oh! so I didn’t finish the story about…” It’s always been a natural flow of conversation.

Sometimes, the topic change is random. Sometimes, it’s an Ack!-I-have-to-interrupt-to-tell-you-this-before-I-forget moment.

Years ago, Jessica and I nick named these sudden topic changes ping-pong… or pong for short.

Recently, facebook “ponged” at me!

On Wednesday March 30th, Grandaddy fell in his driveway. He cracked some ribs. He was hospitalized for 2.5 weeks and then transferred to a rehab center, which is just a different floor of the same building with a different company.

On April 4th or 5th, I called Mom to talk about some paperwork and to see if she had heard the date for the golf tournament. That’s when she told me that Grandaddy was in the hospital.

Emil’s last day with Travis County was the 6th, and I had a portrait session on the 8th, and we had a mini-vacay planned for the 12-13-14th, so we finished out the week and planned a trip to Paris for Saturday-Monday.

Our Time There

We spent all day Sunday with Grandaddy and Mama Bee. He’s off the pain meds, but he’s still groggy most of the time (as they are slowly leaving his system) and startles easily. Because he was officially “discharged” from the hospital and then checked into the rehab center, they lost his diabetic menu and brought him all kinds of sugar-raising foods.

When an LVN came in, tested his sugar, and found it high (184), she was going to give him an entire syringe of insulin. No wonder it’s high, he isn’t supposed to eat the food he’s been served for several days in a row! While he is diabetic, my grandmother has controlled every morsel of food that goes into his mouth and has kept his blood sugar down without the need for any medication. Given his age and meds he needs for other, more serious conditions like his skin cancer, this has been a huge help. It doesn’t hurt that she is a fabulous cook! So, when the nurse-wannabee tried to give him a shot, my grandmother refused it. Good for her!

Grandaddy’s situation shows a glimmer of how bad our health care system is: no telling what that much insulin would have done to him given he’s never had any! They’d dose him and leave him lying there alone and unattended….thank goodness my grandmother and my mom can “babysit” the staff/services and see to his immediate needs. I was pissed at the LVN for trying to act like a doctor. He’s never had that drug and doesn’t have prescription for it. Just who did she think she was playing doctor? I know it’s SOP when the blood sugar registers that high, but they still have to look at his record to see if he’s an insulin-dependent diabetic.

When his lunch came, it was all “white” stuff he can’t have. We asked why they stopped his diabetic meal and she showed us the slip where he was slated for a standard tray. (Mama Bee had even been to the store that morning to get him some fruit, juices without so much sugar, and sugar-free jello, so she could supplement his meals with stuff he can eat.) (Oh, I forgot, when he was hurting, he took his dentures out and threw them down breaking the one plate in two. They are off being repaired. So, in addition to needing diabetic food, he needs soft/pureed foods. It’s not the least bit appetizing, of course. However, I tasted the dressing to render a “how-much-do-we-think-he-can-have-of-THAT” opinion and it was quite tasty. I think it was loaded with broth and sodium and carbs, but a couple of bites of it seems to stimulate an appetite.)

Mom and Mama Bee were pissed at the kitchen’s inability to follow his diabetic diet. I only knew of the two companies because when we asked to confirm his room number at the nurses desk, they told us he was discharged. So, it made more sense to me because we hadn’t yet been there with them. He was discharged. The diet instructions didn’t follow and my mom and grandmother couldn’t get anyone to truly hear their complaints. The staff is too small, too busy, and too ill-equipped to remember it all from the room to the desk.

One nurse remembered and got us the forms, so I dragged Mama Bee through the process of planning his meals for the next several days by circling the best options on the diabetic menu for each of his meals. Once the first day or two were done, it was a familiar system and didn’t take too long.

After lunch, they took him to physical therapy, where he peddled and walked with the help of the therapist (who is tall/strong enough to help and knows how to catch him if he starts to fall).

My Observations

My mom and grandmother are tired. It’s hard to be the support for someone so close and babysit the processes, too. Everyone is worried about everyone else…only adding to the stress.

While Grandaddy sleeps a lot, sleep talks, and sometimes rambles incoherently (because we can’t understand him without his dentures), he’s aware and lucid when he is fully awake. He’s tired of being there and wants to go home. None of us blame him, of course. And, he jokes with us and the nursing staff. When Emil & I were saying goodbye, he shook Emil’s hand and said, “I think you’re big enough to get me outta here!”

Mama Bee is particularly sad because years ago, she promised Grandaddy that they’d never live in a nursing home. She’s having to go back on her word and it’s killing her.

I’m sad that I can’t be much help from 5 hours away, but I’m once-again grateful that I can adjust my schedule so that I can go up there for a few days at a time.

Grandaddy will stay at the rehab center until the 25th. I don’t know if that’s a policy of that space since they have a relationship with the hospital or a medicaid/insurance limit.

Mama Bee might move into a little apartment in Bonham, Texas–where my mom worked for the state prison system–so Grandaddy can use his Veteran benefits and stay in the rehab center, there.

After that, who knows? Paris, Texas is all either of them have ever known, except for his tour in England & crash landing in France as a Glider Pilot during WWII and a little traveling when they were younger.

I told Mama Bee that if I could wave a magic wand, I’d put them in one of those high-end places in Dallas where they can have a little apartment with full nursing care and everything they need just downstairs. She shook her head both at the idea of it not being “home” and also at the idea of the cost. I reminded her, “I said it’s what I’d do if I could wave a wand…” Now, where are those guaranteed-to-win Lotto numbers?

So, she and my mom are researching places and options. I know they will make the best decision with the options they have. I plan to go back up there to either help Mama Bee shop around or to stay with Grandaddy and “babysit” the nursing staff while Mom takes her.

Outtakes

Now, for a funny story during our time there: Emil needed a break from just sitting and walked around the hospital a bit. In one corridor, he was passing a man in a wheel chair who was squinting and staring at him. As they got closer to one another, Emil learned of the reason for staring. The man blurted out, “Howdy!”; he’d been making sure that the ring on Emil’s finger was an Aggie ring! Emil gave him a “Howdy!” back. sweet!

One decade ago, we said said, “I Do” while surrounded by the love of ~300 of our family/friends. It was our perfect day.

• We filled the church with bluebonnet scented candles early that day to fill the church with their gorgeous smell.
• The weather was perfect. Father John opened the windows to our church. I never saw them opened before and haven’t since! The scent of the candles lingered among the feel of gentle breezes and sounds of chirping birds.
• Our family and friends were perfect. My heart grew larger and larger at several points during the last few days of planning and the wedding weekend:
  • when I heard our wedding music the first time–performed by Tim, Alison, Melissa, John, and Emily–on piano and strings; I didn’t just tear up, I cried; it wasn’t just the songs we picked, it was the personal touch only family and talent can bring to the occasion
  • when the girls on our Alternative Spring Break trip were so anxious to do *something* that they tied our bubbles in a flash of ~10 minutes…in the van…on the way to the Gila National Forrest…in New Mexico
  • when Patty & Julie arrived from Miami to help, support, and love the whole weekend and all the hustle-bustle
  • when the Jenn/Patty/Julie took me out for what might be deemed The Most Calm Bachelorette Party Ever®; somewhere I have the Aggie CARPOOL receipt from my ride home
  • when Emil’s family and our wedding party showed up in droves on Friday to help decorate the reception hall
  • when Patty made gorgeous on-the-spot silk arrangements from the stems and garlands I purchased because she saw voids in my “affordable” decor plan for a giant reception hall
  • when Elain ran the one errand she hates because she was the only one who could leave the decorating
  • when Emil’s mom managed the process for extra last-minute linens from the church’s ladies’ organization where we rented them
  • when Jim personally delivered the party favors I forgot to pick up
  • when someone (who??) alerted me to the time for us to meander over to the church for the rehearsal
  • when I changed from the tshirt I was wearing to one that was for The Big Event (an Aggie tradition) that was set for our wedding date: 3.31.01; #awesomesauce
  • when Scott, just one week after graduation from Trooper Academy was there for our big weekend eventhough we were absent (due to Alternative Spring Break) from his
  • when Father John made ready his favorite five ferns (a Zeta Tau Alpha nod, even!) to fill the rail in back of the altar
  • when I heard Diane and Crystal speak our selected wedding readings during the rehearsal; they were poised and eloquent for both the rehearsal and ceremony
  • when AJ thanked me for including our whole family in various roles of the ceremony mass and reception; she told me she was proud to wear a corsage on our wedding day
  • when Emil’s brothers took him out for pool; they’d never gone out as a group before…and though it was the closest thing he had to a Bachelor Party and was the night before the wedding, it was low-key and “safe”
  • when I took quiet/alone time after the rehearsal to calligrapher my personal/private vows to Emil and sew the navy blue roses to the back of my dress (a Paula Opal original and one-of-a-kind)
  • when AMay gave me a pretty face with her fierce makeup skillz
  • when my mom and grandmother showed up dressed perfectly for our theme/style, eventhough I’d never gone with them to pick dresses
  • when Pam gave me her emerald engagement ring to “borrow”; a nod to my own Irish lineage, too
  • when our photographer, Tim, made me feel like a princess instead of like the photo-phobe I normally am; who knew such a introvert to make me feel so at ease?
  • when I saw Daddy for the first time in a tux; he looked so handsome and wanted so desperately to please me that day
  • when Erin genuinely grinned to each guest
  • when our wedding party walked down the aisle, arm-in-arm, with the ladies sporting those cute little sweep trains I adored
  • when Sharis drove in from San Antonio, arriving after the matrons/maid walked, but just before I did…such a sweet moment
  • when Daddy was at the ready with a handkerchief just before he walked me down the aisle…and how perfectly he performed such a very-important-to-me role from the foyer to the doors to the aisle to the actual giveaway (I love and miss you, Daddy!)
  • when Donna & Matt reverently escorted the Host and those worthy to receive it
  • when we shared the light from our unity candle with everyone in attendance…and wow is that a great photo!
  • when our (again, introvert) photographer was able to properly wrangle the Luza chaos into place for the big-damn-family portrait
  • when Leanne and Winkler set about 400 candles ablaze at our reception…to give the reception the look I wanted
  • when Chad and Brandon moved the altar arrangement to the reception (a step I had left out of the wedding day timeline)
  • when we weren’t yet “at” the reception; I peeked inside and saw decor moved and curtains pulled up off the floor and folded over a railing; I persisted until I found out the keg “exploded” beer all over the place; I’m still grateful that our family/friends took care of it as best they could in hopes that I’d never find out; no telling what else they “saved me from” that day!
  • when (again, when I peeked in) I saw everyone drinking our fancy margaritas…since there was no beer for the cocktail hour!
  • when Charles & Elain led us all, including my non-Czech/Catholic family and friends, through the Grand March, which rolled into our first dance, which was then severely interrupted by Aunt Grace, but that was fine because my dad’s laughter was priceless…making her shenanigans all worth it!
  • when, just after the first few reception “events-within-the-event” our photographer pulled us outside for some sunset images; Emil genuinely kissed me on the forehead, and Tim instantly said, “do that again!” One of my favorite shots!
  • when Mike DJ’d with the eloquence I felt worthy of a romantic day; we made the right choice in hiring a friend instead of “real” DJ
  • when, during the siblings portrait, Bobby hugged me and said, “Welcome to the family, Sis.”
  • when Sandra/Roy emcee’d each and every little “event-within-the-event” with perfection, poise, and humor
  • when Leanne and the other Replant members asked for a photo with us
  • when my grandparents danced for a few moments during the Generations Dance; Mama Bee was miserable yet tolerant of my wishes, but Grandaddy was elated
  • when Bob joked about his little gift prank of “camping” “egg cartons”; he must have given us three of them between our shower, the wedding, and “just because”
  • when Ali (and her/Jenn’s mom) found me at the water “barrel” and said sweet things about our ceremony (which given the month, colors, and similar faith was right on target with her own wedding a year or two before)
  • when Tres (Charlie the Third) danced with me, and when he danced with Kelly
  • when (one more time) our photographer remembered one of my Must Have images of us getting margaritas from the margarita fountain
  • when Pam & Pat were dancing to the songs we picked just for them (Play That Funky Music, White Boy and Brick House); probably my most favorite image from the whole reception
  • when Jenn made sure I remembered to give Emil’s mom, my parents, and my grandparents their gifts; yep, I had forgotten
  • when Daddy asked if he could change; he was so concerned about being properly dressed for long enough, but also knew he had to give his tux to Emil’s brother Tim to return on Sunday
  • when Emil told me and all our guests of our honeymoon location (I was too stressed out with wedding planning and asked him to plan the whole honeymoon & not tell me where we were going; he bought/packed me everything from swimsuits to sweaters): Greece; I’m still kinda dumbfounded that we did that; best wedding decision I made; best trip ev-AR; the image of my face during the reveal is another favorite image. Thank you, Julie, for your stories that made me appreciate Greece from afar.
  • when Crystal, who is Greek, taught us Thank You (Efharistó) and other key phrases in Greek in anticipation of our trip
  • when Emil gave envelopes containing itineraries and contact info to both our moms in case the unthinkable happened while we were abroad
  • when we had our getaway to the sights of bubbles and the sounds of little bells; it was a perfect blend for our senses to end our perfect day!

Happy Anniversary, Emil, my darling, my love. We had our perfect day, and these last 10 years have been the best of my life. I know the next decade will be just as exuberant as the last.

xxxooo