The Move

Last year, our rent went up almost 10% and added some fees, too. We knew it would happen again (we heard rumors of $100-$150 increases in 1/1 units!), so we started shopping around. It had to be a Perfect Storm in a lot of ways. It’s not worth moving unless we can stay close to the same total expenses, get more space, get nicer fixtures and stuff, etc. Well, when we started looking around, there were a lot of ways we could make this happen. So, on 25-Feb, we’ll have a new place to live. We have until 22-Mar to get out of Riata, but we’re hiring movers so we can leave early in the hope that they can flip our unit quickly like they did for our neighbor. We have been quite happy at Riata. Unless they screw us over on move-out, I’ll give them a 5-star rating on Yelp. But, when we got this “shoebox” shaped apartment, it was an amazing deal we just couldn’t pass up while we still had a mortgage. We were so happy here that when the lease came around, twice, we just stayed. Now, we’re ready to face moving again to go for bigger/better.

We looked at ~20 places and had a very strong Top 5 list. I fell “in like” with two leasing specialists, one where an acquaintance of ours lives. We found: a lovely town home, an über quiet place up the road, hardwood floors, door-to-door valet trash service, amazing views, and a couple of places with a lot of rugrats. All of the options gave us more space (so I can use Daddy’s desk again!), better amenities for our lifestyle, garage options (so we can stop paying for a storage unit primarily for Daddy’s desk and “junk”), better fixtures, and a better layout.

Just like we did when house hunting, we made a matrix of all the “stuff”. And just like most brides do with a wedding gown, we ended up at the first place we wanted to see: Villas at Stone Oak Ranch. We have good/affordable access to a game room and a 30-seat movie theater. There is a “gift wrap” area full of paper and tape and scissors. All the standards are there too: gym, pool, business center, etc. We have a detached garage, a square balcony, “Romeo & Juliet” doors off the dining room (which I’ve re-named Rapunzel doors), garden tubs, a kitchen that is open on two ends, an excellent pantry, and data ports in all the rooms. The only things we didn’t get: gas cooking (REALLY hard to find) and a fireplace (again? dammit!). But the deal was just too good to pass up compared to the other places in consideration.

Aside: During the process we met an amazing woman named Wendie. She gave us the low-down on why so many communities are doing away with their hot tubs. Turns out, some really scary (as in: there is no known cure) stuff can survive even in 104?-temperature chemical-treated water. The report is new and we could not find it online, but it’s scary. Do not, I repeat: DO NOT get in a public hot tub. Feet only. No “sensitive” areas allowed. eeeeeewwww!

Don’t worry friends and family: we’re hiring movers. We are also cleaning out the storage unit and holding a big moving sale in their parking lot. What doesn’t get sold is getting donated. Goodwill is going to LOVE us! LMK if you are close and care about the few big-ticket items we’re selling.

Oh! And we were able to surprise a friend with the referral fee paid to REALTORs. She’s a single mom and a cancer survivor, so she was elated with the news.

(The) Grandaddy

Grandaddy is quite frustrated and bored. His hip is so messed up from the botched “Paris-effin’-Texas” surgery that he can’t sit up. He’s been laying down since Hallowe’en. The Longview/Tyler doctors have deemed all surgical options too risky. Health care is a joke from the beginning; but in a small town that is 20 years behind the times, 1 hour from an interstate highway, and 2 hours from anything you’ve ever heard of, it’s nothing short of tragic. Mama Bee is still fighting the residuals from the beotch who called APS on her (the witch has since apologized), but no one wants to take Grandaddy on as a client. They claim he’ll have a stroke if he stays in bed too much longer, but they won’t come help her get him the physical therapy he needs to get out of the hospital bed. It’s heartbreaking….worse so to be physically and financially powerless to help. If I could wave a magic wand, I’d care-flight him to one of those fancy-schmancy places in Dallas where he’d get all the help he needs. Again, I need to win the lottery for that. I don’t know what those places cost, but even the crappy Paris nursing homes are $6K per month…and for terrible care compared with what my Grandmother can do (even at her small stature).

The Fraud

In the midst of The Move, we got a call that we’d have to pay rent with “certified funds” like a cashier’s check or money order. We’ve been on auto-draft, so this would be a real pain in the butt. Today, I called the “ladder” of people to find out the cause. Some jackass spoofed my Texas driver’s license number when writing a bad check at Walmart in a town I’ve never been to in Oklahoma. Telecheck reported it to credit on my DL number without checking any facts like the name. So, now, I’m in the middle of yet another fraud mess. I’ve lost count of how many times this has happened. So, to all the people who gave me shit (my sorority included) for wanting to protect my SSN, DL, DOB, mailing address, and other “credit” information, Fuck You! THIS is why. Less than $300 of stupid means we have to get a money order for rent every month? Are you kidding? Since Emil was just frauded over Xmas, this is just another reason to try to get off the financial grid. I haven’t even owned checks in years and I’m still dealing with this kind of bullshit.

Dear Walmart: stop taking checks. They are not money. They are only theft.

“Dear” Telecheck, this a’int our first rodeo for something completely out of my control. I already don’t shop at any store that posts they use you. You have needed better processes since ~1993 when I bought <$10 worth of socks from one of your client stores. Your sign in the window means I don’t shop there. fuckers. Oh, and if you think I’m alone in my opinion, search “telecheck” on Twitter. You need to learn/use social media, too, BTW.

The Fun

Austin is about to ride the big wave of fun that is Spring. Right after we move in, we’ll have RISE (free workshops for entrepreneurs) and the four South by Southwest conferences. I’ve been invited to return tot he photo crew for SXSW. And, I’ve been selected to wrangle for another all-time favorite photographer at Texas School in May. It’s a fun ride, but it’s a sprint, so jump on board fast if you want to hang with us!

Oh, and for those of you close by, look for a party in April or May. The party room at the new place is stellar (pool, poker, shuffleboard, music, swimming, etc.)

I’m also a courteous customer. I always order something. I usually have a meal just before or after a peak time for the business. And, I don’t stay if there aren’t free tables during these peak times unless I have put food on my tab. I know that the free WiFi is a benefit, not a right. I know that it’s a perk for customers. I know they use it as a draw to get people in the door to spend money. I follow these same rules even at fast food joints.

Today, I hit one of my infrequent standbys. I love Kerbey Lane, so I occasionally treat myself.

I was a little befuddled when my MacBook Pro didn’t remember the password for the WiFi, but figured they had just changed it. I even wondered if they no longer had WiFi for customers. Turns out, they have had to set it on timers that turn it off during peak hours.

So, some inconsiderate customers ruined it for me: one customer at a tiny table in the bar area (where they don’t seat people unless the customer requests this spot). There are ~always empty seats in the bar area. Plus, I spent $15 on my appetizer, dessert, and Diet Coke; certainly comparable to any other person’s lunch tab. And, I tip well. In my opinion, a nice tip is part of the deal when you make heavy use of the free WiFi.)

This is what is NOT ok when using the free WiFi at a business…especially if they have table service.

• Failing to order.
• Failing to tip.
• Ordering just coffee (or any other refill drink) and staying longer than an hour.
• Keeping a table occupied if anyone (any ONE) is waiting for seating.
• Hogging a big table all day, keeping them from easily seating large groups…and yes, that corner booth counts. Don’t make the servers pull tables together for every party of five that comes through the door.
• Talking on the phone at the table or holding a video conference. (Yes, I’ve seen this!) If it’s that critical to your work, either sit outside in this 100+ heat or rent a conference room at the local co-working office. Besides, how professional is a conference call/video from a restaurant, anyway? You might as well be at home with the crying baby and barking dog in the background.

Respect that others around you are dining and are on a break from work.

Then, when she greeted her friend, her voice sounded familiar.

Then, I realized that her accent is British. (funny how this is the third thing I noticed).

Then, I wondered, could it be Deb from the Jason & Deb morning show on 101x? [1] But, I didn’t want to eavesdrop, and I had work to do.

A while later, I heard her tell someone the dog’s name: Blue.

Yep, I was right. It WAS her.

I never know celebrities when I see them in magazines or on TV. I can recall characters and show names, but never actors or other celebrities.

Since she’s in radio, I hear/listen to her but never see her. …yet I recognized her right away.

The power of a voice… especially one so likeable. [2]

On the off chance that Jason/Deb/others from 101x find this post….LOVE the show! Deb’s I Love You and Does Deb Know Stuff are my two faves!

[2] Full disclosure: she one of the only British things/people I like. I don’t care for their food, their humor, most of their TV shows [3], or their teeth. Deb is funny and down-to-Earth.

Our sales person from that day had called right when we got back…and with the luxury of Google Voice, I blocked him from calling again. However, as technology would have it, he can call from a number of lines and, today, manged to get through [1]. I was on my way out the door and off my game for just a moment….a moment of weakness. argh!

The convo went something like this:

Hello, Ms. Loosa, this is [Miguel] (not his real name) from Round Rock Honda. How are you today?

Fine. How are you?

Great! Listen, I just wanted to see if you and Aaahmeeel (also not Emil’s real name!) were back in town from your trip and if you were still looking for a Honda or Toyota or a Scion or any other [car we have in stock]“.
(Really…he said something not much different than that!)

[......drum roll, please..... ('cause this next part is that good!)]

“Actually, after we left your dealership, we drove up the road to Mazda. They were willing to work with us on the price,
so we bought TWO cars from them.”

[I couldn't quite make out the sounds of the crickets chirping in the background.... </smug> <!nah, not me>]

Well, if you ever need anything from our family of dealerships, maybe with your next vehicle purchases, I’d be happy to help.

Thank you. [Thanks, but no. You gave us a hell of a time when you knew we were trying shop quickly and then get out of town for family business. What's more: you are slimy!]

When I told Emil the story at dinner (’cause it’s just too juicy to tell in a 140-character Tweet!), he was all giggles!

#Booyah, Honda. Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out!

zoom-zoom [2] [3]

I will repeat this because I know they care: Round Rock (city of), you lost the tax revenue on not-one-but-two vehicles because of one slimy salesperson. We quite likely would have purchased two cars from that RR dealership. But, by driving just a little further north, we found some down-to-Earth and real people. And, we contributed to all that lovely tax revenue in Georgetown, instead. (You’re welcome Ali & Andy, and the Winklers, too!)

[1] Google Voice gives me an extra layer of call screening. He got through because he called from a different number. He still had to state his name to connect the call.

[2] Our experience with Roger Beasley Mazda was so good that Emil (yes, Emil!) wrote a letter to Mr. Beasley to thank and recognize our sales person and the rest of the staff at the dealership. You should have seen the faces of our salesperson (Mark, who was at the top of the board for the month with-or-without our purchases) and the other staff members when we gave them a printed letter. I guess no one does that anymore! Our full review on Yelp will come when we get our real license plates and my cargo net.

[3] Emil even signed our letter “Zoom-zoom, Emil & Lori Luza” Nice.

If you live in Austin and battle Cedar Fever. Try the Easy Breather!

The BLUE Theatre Hosts Fundraising Event – Help Support the arts in East Austin!!!
Austin, TX , July 2010

The BLUE Theatre, the hippest artist-operated performance space on Austin’s east side, is now under new artistic management! The previous company is taking all of their lighting equipment with them; nobody blames them (this stuff’s expensive!). However, in order for The BLUE to continue business as usual, all of this equipment needs to be replaced. So, the BLUE is reaching out to the community and local businesses for help …

On Sunday, August 1st, 2010, the BLUE Theatre will team up with local bands Home By Hovercraft (http://www.myspace.com/homebyhovercraft), Abandoned Warehouse (http://www.myspace.com/homebyhovercraft), and other local talent to host BLUE LIGHT SPECIAL, an all-day music event designed to raise money for the overhaul.

The entire community is invited to come rock out while supporting a local arts institution in raising money for a complete lighting equipment overhaul. Give till it hurts while listening to great music, drinking fantastic cocktails courtesy of Tito’s Handmade Vodka, and mingling with music lovers, artists, patrons, and neighborhood family and friends.

Details …
What: BLUE Light Special benefiting the BLUE Theatre
When: August 1, 2010 beginning at 3pm
Where: BLUE Theatre, 916 Springdale Rd, Austin, TX 78702

The BLUE Theatre is ‘home’ for many of our communities’ performing and visual artists and with the community’s help we will continue to bring powerful, innovative, thought-provoking works for Austin audiences to enjoy.

About The BLUE Theatre
The BLUE Theatre supports and presents artists whose work challenges the traditional boundaries of art, theatre, music, dance, film and performance. An artist-operated, multi-disciplinary performance space, community center and gallery with roots deep in the Austin arts scene. We produce our own shows, help support all artists and activists with our programs and can be rented for productions, rehearsals, events and auditions.

For more information, visit www.bluetheatre.org.

The BLUE Theatre, 916 Springdale Road, Austin, TX, 78702
CONTACT: Nicole Portwood, Executive Director (512) 743-8089, info@bluetheatre.org

###

The BLUE Theatre Hosts Fundraising Event – Help Support the arts in East
Austin!!!

Austin, TX , July 1, 2010

The BLUE Theatre, the hippest artist-operated performance space on Austin’s
east side, is now under new artistic management! The previous company is
taking all of their lighting equipment with them; nobody blames them (this stuff’s
expensive!). However, in order for The BLUE to continue business as usual,
all of this equipment needs to be replaced. So, the BLUE is reaching out to the
community and local businesses for help …

On Sunday, August 1st, 2010, the BLUE Theatre will team up with local bands
Home By Hovercraft (http://www.myspace.com/homebyhovercraft), Abandoned
Warehouse (http://www.myspace.com/homebyhovercraft), and other local talent
to host BLUE LIGHT SPECIAL, an all-day music event designed to raise money
for the overhaul.

The entire community is invited to come rock out while supporting a local arts
institution in raising money for a complete lighting equipment overhaul. Give
till it hurts while listening to great music, drinking fantastic cocktails courtesy of
Tito’s Handmade Vodka, and mingling with music lovers, artists, patrons, and
neighborhood family and friends.

The BLUE Theatre is ‘home’ for many of our communities’ performing and
visual artists and with the community’s help we will continue to bring powerful,
innovative, thought-provoking works for Austin audiences to enjoy.

About The BLUE Theatre

The BLUE Theatre supports and presents artists whose work challenges the
traditional boundaries of art, theatre, music, dance, film and performance. An
artist-operated, multi-disciplinary performance space, community center and
gallery with roots deep in the Austin arts scene. We produce our own shows,
help support all artists and activists with our programs and can be rented for
productions, rehearsals, events and auditions.

For more information, visit www.bluetheatre.org.
The BLUE Theatre, 916 Springdale Road, Austin, TX, 78702

CONTACT: Nicole Portwood, Executive Director (512) 743-8089, info@bluetheatre.org
###

Emil’s wish for supper was Torchy’s Tacos. We know not to go there until a bit later because it gets really crowded. And, while it’s not a kid-friendly place, a lot of parents drag their ill-behaved sex trophies along. We planned to go over there at 7pm.

We normally get terrible service but great food at Torchy’s. The counter staff don’t listen well and mess up our orders all the time. However, even a messed up Torchy’s taco is fabulous. So, we endure. Tonight, we were behind a group of four: a mom with her two school-age boys and their grandmother. They spoke more Spanish than English, but seemed to speak and understand English just fine. However, in spite of good language skills, they were really struggling to order. They had a million questions and kept adding more items after the counter girl had totaled the order. The kids were barking for chips and nachos and lemonade and whatever else. Mom just added it to the list. Meanwhile, the line had grown out the door. A whopping $41.38 later (for tacos!) [1], they were finally signing the credit card receipt. About this time the owner opened the other register and took our order quickly and accurately. We were getting our drinks before they walked away from the counter. Cue our jokes about people from Alvin, Texas.

We were home for all of about 5 minutes before Emil requested a trip to Fry’s for some RAM, a new hard drive, and a monitor cable. Please understand why he needed these things for his desktop PC: Dungeons & Dragons. His gang from BCS used to gather weekly for a live game, but after a suspension from the host’s wife, they found a really good online version.

At Fry’s, we got great service at the RAM counter and, while chatting about our Twitter conversation about “criss-cross applesauce”, met a funny guy in line. As we were leaving, Emil insisted that the good service and attention from the fellow shopper was because of my boobs. Thanks, Honey; I love you, too. It was a funny notion. About the time we were back in the car and done laughing about it, Islands in the Stream came on the radio. [2]

When we got back to our village, Emil drove the longest way [3] to our building, so he could hear the rest of Beat It. Damn we are old/nerdy.

So, the rest of our evening is spent with him doing serious computer upgrades. I’m updating some bloggy/site things while I listen to the live show of the week from http://www.keithandthegirl.com/. FTW!

Happy holiday weekend, everyone. Be safe and take a moment to remember those who gave the ultimate sacrifice for USA.

[1] Two women & 2 young kids just ordered $42 worth (for here!) at Torchy’s Tacos. WTF? #tookforever

[2] LOL @emil285 said we got better service @ Fry’s b/c of my ta tas. Clevage FTW! Then Islands in the Stream came on th radio. #notmakingthisup

[3] Driving all the way around to our apartment so @emil285 can hear the rest of Beat It on the radio. (Must be 80s night on this station,)

Did you notice the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles backback? No? We didn’t think so.

PS. Since this picture was taken with Emil’s phone, guess what his wallpaper setting is…….