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Larry Dean
Salter When it rains, it pours. On our way
to the Gila National Forest with our Alternative Spring Break students, we
received the phone call from Emil's sister, Lydia. Monsignor McCaffrey had
called her with the bad news. Lori's mom had called Emil's mom, and when
she couldn't reach her, she tried to think of someone who would know how
to find Luzas and who would know how to call us. In a big, Catholic
family, the priest will know. We were in a valley of the Franklin
Mountains when Lydia got through to our cell phones. We were piling into
the vans to go to dinner. As soon as we realized it was bad news, we got
out of the vans. Lori waited anxiously for Emil to finish the conversation
so he could tell her what was wrong. When he finally did hang up, he was
very quiet and very sad. Lori begged him to tell her what had happened and
what was wrong. He wanted her to live for just one more moment with both
her parents alive. What were certainly a few short seconds seemed like
long minutes while he gathered his breath to tell her. It was such a
shock. How could this be? Larry was only 55.
Earlier in the week, Larry and Annabee had closed on their new house.
It was their dream home. They had been building it in their minds for
their entire marriage. It had every feature and ammenity they had ever
wanted in a house. They were moving light items and having fun setting up
the new home. They had plans to make one more trip and then go to dinner
with Annabee's parents. Larry sat down in his recliner to take a break and
turned on a golf match. The heart attack came swiftly and with
determination. In a flash, he was gone. Annabee walked past him. When she
saw him slumped over, she thought he'd fallen asleep. When she walked past
a second time, she sensed something was wrong. She couldn't wake him. She
gave him a breath of air, called 911, dragged him from the recliner, and
performed CPR until the paramadeics arrived. The hospital staff tried
everyting, but they were unable to bring him back.
The Alternative Spring Break students are some of the most mature and
responsible young adults you could ever meet. (The same can not be
said, however, for the Department of Student Activities.) As soon as
we got to dinner, the students took Lori by the hand and told her they
were cancelling the trip and going home. She begged them not to ruin the
entire trip, but they would hear nothing of her arguments. It took
hours for the students to find a travel solution that would satisfy
Student Activities. Every suggestion or option they presented to Student
Activities was immediately shot down. Ke.vin Jack.son and Moni.ca Lath.am,
the Director and Ass. Director, were certainly available to tell the
students "NO" to every option, but they were certainly not
available to step in when needed. If they were going to insist that the
students have an advisor with them to drive back to College Station from a
cancelled trip, then they should have been willing to fill that
role, personally. Their suggestion was for Emil to ride back to College
Station with the students and then drive to Paris to meet Lori. This
presented several problems. Lori would be traveling alone while grieving,
and DFW to Paris is a two-hour drive. Emil would be in the van for 11-12
hours and would then need to drive 4.5-5 more to get to Paris. All of this
would happen in about 24 hours. Neither side of this option was safe!
(...and StuAct thinks they rule the world on Risk Management.) Lori called
Angela Winkler. In a few minutes, Angela had a plane ticket to El Paso and
had devoted all day Sunday (~5am until ~2am on Monday) to helping these
responsible young adults get back home. To add salt to the wound, Lori was
also presented with a harsh set of questions from the new volunteer
coordinator. She asked, "Had your father been ill for very long?". WHAT???
Yes, with a sick parent, we got in a van full of students for a 17-hour
drive to go spend a week on the top of a mountain with no cell phone
coverage! Her accusatory tone almost got her the tounge lashing of her
life. But, Lori just simply did not have the energy and didn't want to
waste the cell phone minutes. Emil thinks the coordinator was trying to be
concerned and just isn't educated in Southern manners. Lori thinks that
the goons at StuAct instructed her to ask inappropriate and untimely
questions. Lori is grateful every day to be out of the world of Student
Affairs. When we finally arrived at Lori's grandparents' house, reality set in.
The house was already full of food and there were people Lori barely knew
talking quietly with her mom in the living room. In typical Paris fashion,
they stayed even after Annabee explained that we just got in from our trip
and were seeing each other for the first time. Their visit had to be cut
off by my grandmother who told them we had to be at the funeral home. We
were half an hour late. The same thing happened again for our second
appointment that evening, making us an hour late. This was on Sunday and
the funeral home staff would not normally be working such long hours. Lori
was quickly reminded of how much she hates her home town. The visitors
meant well. Larry had a lot of friends and they just wanted to help. But,
they let their need to be helpful override our need to begin the process
that help us get through times like this. Most of the visits were good for
Lori's mom, but some of these "Parisites" added frustration to her grief.
The visitation was the largest and longest Lori had ever been to. When
we arrived at the funeral home, Lori wanted to read the tags from the
flowers and plants. We had requested "in lieu of flowers" but the time
between his death and the obituary being in the paper was long enough for
florists to get orders. The room was full. There were also already people
there and we were forced to begin receiving guests 20 minutes early. After
half an hour, Lori was sure we were almost through. The line of mourners
was still out the door and we had another two hours left to go. So many
people spoke so fondly of Larry. Many told Lori how proud he was of her
and how he lit up when he spoke of her. This was quite comforting and very
helpful.
When Larry's friend George passed away, the circumstances were very
similar. He was a principal and a coach. He touched the lives of many
students. At his graveside service, his team gathered in a huddle and then
lined up to pass his casket. They each tossed in one flower and had a
private good-bye with the man who had led them to victory. It was
heart-wrenching and Annabee knew she could not endure a similar display
for Larry Dean. Prairiland students are known for their grand displays of
affection. They are always sweet and appropriate, but are also
tear-jerking. So, the graveside service was specifcally private. Larry had
chosen cremation, so there was no need for pallbearers. Annabee invited
family and a few close friends. The service was short and beautiful. The
weather was almost perfect for a good game of golf! Dr. LC Stout was a
dear friend of Larry's and his eulogy was touching. We had a while to
visit before heading to the memorial service. Lori was able to talk with
some friends she had not seen in a long time. Larry Tarter and Larry Dean
were the best of friends for years. Larry Tarter seemed devastated by this
loss and somehow, Lori found comfort in him. Larry Dean's cousins, Thom,
Johnny, and Mark, were young when their father died. (Tex went exactly the
same way. He was on a sidewalk about to enter the bank when he left our
world.) Their empathy was another source of support.
When we arrived at the high school, the first thing we noticed was that
the parking lot was full of cars. Prairiland had closed school at 1:15 so
that students, teachers, and staff could attend the 4pm services. (This
would have angered Larry a great deal. In his opinion, you didn't close
school for ANY reason!) The parking lot seemed full, but we
couldn't see all of it and we were near the door. When we walked into the
gym, the sheer number of people took our breath away. The gym floor
contained a stage at one end with all the plants and flowers. The main
floor had seating for an audience of about 200. Every seat was full except
for the first two rows, which were kept empty for us. Pam, Bobby and Patty
(Emil's sister, brother, and sister-in-law) had driven from Bryan and
Houston to be with us and were seated behind family on one side. Annabee
had requested that the Deport faculty and staff be seated behind the
family. Not only were they in full attendance, they were also donned with
white carnations with red and blue ribbons. Additionally, the home side
bleachers were almost full. When we stepped on the gym floor, every guest
stood to greet us. It was almost more than Lori could handle and she held
on to Emil for support. Lori and Annabee were both afriad that the service
would be sad. Lori feared that she'd spend it crying instead of listening.
Again, Dr. Stout knew exactly what to do. He reinforced that the name is
Salter and not Salters (a common error). He joked that Larry had always
said there was just one of him. He spoke of Larry's need for order and
organization and had us all laughing. He told stories of their days
together as young principals. He reminded the guests of how angry Larry
would be at "all this" and at the early closing of school. The memorial
service was uplifting and was a celebration of Larry's life and career. In
closing, he read an email sent in by one of Larry's former students. Jeff
Morrison described all the skills he learned from Larry Dean. He explained
that he was, for years, unaware he had learned these things. He talked of
integrity and honor. At the end he said that he'd heard that teachers
consider their careers successful if they have touched the life of just
one student. He closed with "Mr. Salter's career was a success." You could
have heard a pin drop when Dr. Stout finished reading the email. It was
touching and heartwarming.
The next few days were spent writing thank you notes and trying to take
care of errands. Annabee is still between houses. Randi Cae (a 15 year old
schnauzer) is very feeble and will likely join her "daddy" any day.
Annabee's old house flooded from a washer hose. There have been several
additional hardships placed on Annabee professionally and personally
during this time. When it rains, it pours.
On a positive note, the Prairiland foundation received $700 in the
first week of accepting donations in memory of Larry Dean Salter. Also,
they have renamed their annual golf tournament. It is now the Larry Salter
Memorial tournament. The insurance from the flood in the house will
replace the carpet and flooring, somthing that was planned before it went
on the market. There are blessings and silver linings; they are just hard
to find.
Donations may be mailed to: We owe all of you a big thank you. Our family, friends, and co-workers
have really been supportive and helpful. Thank you for caring when we need
it most.
Love,
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